A day in the big smoke...

After last weeks episode of hiding in my blankie fort, vowing never to come out... I have finally made it out in the real world again. Still feeling bruised and emotionally battered, and struggling to understand why I'm feeling like this. I've nothing to be sad about, I'm the luckiest girl in the world.. 

Yesterday I flew to Brisbane, for a business meeting this morning, and i spent the evening strolling through the city streets, watching people scurry about their business, in a hurry, drinking coffee or talking on their phones, earphones in.. Everywhere I went, people were distracted by phones, by music playing loud enough in their ears for me to enjoy too... Or not.. Even couples walking together, with earphones in and checking Facebook.. Weird huh?

It got me thinking about how the world is becoming an increasingly lonely place, with every new app or social media option, we are becoming more and more disconnected from each other, and more reliant on the virtual world. A world where we can be whoever we wanna be... We can be single and hunting on Zoosh, we can be millionaires looking to buy property on the French Riveria, ( or is that just me??). Or we can be 50 year old women writing blogs about how hard it is to win the battle over weight... Yep, anyone we want to be... Virtually.

Today, I got up early, and went for my favourite jog in Brisbane. Over the bridge, through Southbank and back over the other bridge. Today, I decided to engage with as many people as I could today, just to see what happened.

I made a joke with the rubbish collector going over the bridge, I winked at the sad African fellow walking to work, I gave the disabled singer a thumbs up for his efforts, I told a man he looked really dapper in his red pants and orange suspenders, I thanked every person I saw in a Blues Jersey, I bought a single Gerbera from the Farmers Market and gave it to a old lady waiting to cross the road, I had a conversation with a man called Andrew who used to work in the Dept Administration Services, I hugged a beautiful lady who had lost a lot of weight recently, i thanked the cleaner in the toilets at Central Station, I bought a coffee and a muffin for the homeless lady in Queen St, I called a cab and made sure the young girl who was crying in Adelaide St got away safely, and I bought another chocolate for the man on security at the airport. 

An older Asian lady came and shook my hand after watching me deliver the coffee and muffin to the homeless lady, I'm not sure what she said, but her eyes told me that she approved. Everyone of these people connected, looking at me with smiling eyes, and said thank you. 

Tonight as I write this blog update on the flight home, I feel somehow lighter, happier that maybe I made a small difference in someone's world today, and it somehow feels like its healed me a little too. Perhaps I was just lonely too, spending all my time either in the gym or in my home office... 

Give it a go. See if spreading a little connection makes a difference in your world too. And message me with the updates. Please.

Oh and by the way, you are looking fabulous today! :)

Who the hell am I anyway?

Today I'm struggling.. Really struggling.

Seems. I've lost my sense of purpose.

Once upon a time I used to be the mother of 5 kids, or the person who ran that shutdown team, or that bitch of a safety officer from GCM..but, I was always "someone". maybe it was just the fat lady that helped out the senior cits on Thursday... but i had a reason to be alive, a purpose.

Today, I felt like a nobody.

I walked into coffee shops and it took them 15 minutes to see me standing there, I roamed listlessly through the house trying to find things to amuse myself during the day. I watch on whilst Hugo came home from a days work, to set up his computer and do all the things that I could have done...but wasn't asked to.

I waited till this afternoon to go to boot camp then miss my chance because Hugo is busy doing something else. I'm bored, I'm cranky and I'm lonely.

And that, may I tell you, is a very dangerous situation for me.

It is in situations like this that I make life changing decisions. Some smart, some not so..

In the past, it usually signals a time for me to walk away, look elsewhere, wander off in search of things to keep me learning, reaching, extending myself to bigger or better things.... Or not. 

Sometimes in situations like this, I have made choices that I came to regret.. Like over eating out of boredom. 

I need something to think about, to plan, to work on. 

Hence my creation of a new website today.. Yep, I got that bored that I made a website. All by myself. Yep, amazing huh? Even I'm surprised. 

I'm just finishing the final touches in the coming weeks, getting my checkout and online shop sorted, before it goes live... LOOK OUT WORLD, I'M COMING!

Very soon, you will be able to buy SYMMYA tshirts, and take selfies, wearing them for me to upload, and all kinds of exciting things.. I bet you can't wait? Lol..

I started the day directionless, sad and felling lost... And ended with a seething anger, channelled into determination to succeed.. At everything.

Encouragement and all that good stuff....

Some one once told me I am the Gordon Ramsey of weight loss... I was flattered, well I think I was..

Gordon Ramsey hasn't really got a very pleasant demeanour but he gets the job done, regardless.  

If you have found my site looking for warm and fuzzy.. I think maybe you're in the wrong place. 

If you're here to find the reason to get off your backside and get this show in the road... Well buckle up, lovely, and enjoy the ride.

I know I am not the best at listening to excuses why exercise isn't a priority, and I do find it hard not to glaze over whilst watching you eat yet another muffin, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I'm just busy.

Really I am, I like to utilise my time with people who are fair dinkum. Honest. I apologise in advance if my eyes start rolling when you give me the same old excuses about why you missed gym again this week.. It's not my fault, it's my allergic reaction to bullshit.

But, I have always made more enemies than I've made friends, so Much so, that it now doesn't bother me if you like me or not. What you think of me is none of my business. I'm blunt, I'm direct, And I will tell you the things you don't want to hear if you ask me the wrong questions. But, I also am the person who will keep you accountable. If you tell me your aim is to exercise, or eat right or stop smoking, I expect that you are telling me the truth. I expect you are also being truthful to yourself. 

Since starting this blog, I have noticed I have lost contact with some people who weren't being true to themselves. People i thought were my friends. At first I took it personally, but over time I have realised that maybe it was easier for them to stay home and complain, than to join me in a walk or exercise class and commit to making healthy decisions. I'm sorry if the sight of me makes you feel guilty about eating cake, or drinking wine, but is that my problem, or yours?

If exercise or giving up smoking is not one of your goals, or not high on your list of priorities, don't kid yourself. Don't make a goal according to someone else's values ( yes, even mine.. ) Set yourself a goal that you know you will be able to achieve eg cleaning out all the kitchen cupboards. Start small, and work up to the ones that really matter to you, rather than kidding yourself that you will go to gym every day, when that really doesn't float your boat.

Be real. Be realistic. Be kind to yourself and stop setting yourself up for failure. If you are happy to sit at home on the lounge, watching reality shows, and then kid yourself that a re-run of A Biggest Loser is a weight loss tool,  then that's fantastic.. 

But if you are, like me, one of those people who need a kick up the pants, a virtual shakeup, and the feeling like there is someone watching you enter that coffee shop... Welcome to the world of SYMMYA.

 A land where we are accountable for our actions, where every action has a consequence and where we know that it is up to us to make the change. 

And in the words of good old Gordie... FFS, shut your mouth and move your arse.

You will thank me in the long run. 

It's all in your head..

My Mum gave me all kinds of pointers when I was growing up, look both ways when crossing the road, don't talk to strangers, never barrack for Collingwood, wash your hands after playing with the oleander tree and, wait for it.....  bananas will make you fat.

WTF?

Bananas.. A fantastic source of potassium, a portable post exercise snack, were apparently the sole reason that I was overweight as a kid. I loved eating bananas as an after school snack. My brother ate Sugar Frosties. Bowls and bowls of them... But that was okay, because he was the boy and My Mums diet tips were reserved for me.. The fat one.

I remember being told in a dressing room at Fairlies Dept Store that I was never going to have nice clothes because I was just too fat, I would have been about 8 at the time... What a shock that was to me that day... I remember thinking, well I'm never gonna be able to get married because I'll be too fat to get a dress to wear. At 8 years old. 

I remember the day like it was yesterday, I went to straight to Coles and bought myself a fake diamond ring for 69  cents knowing it was probably going to be the only diamond I was ever going to get.. And yes, it was the biggest bit of bling Coles department store had.

It's taken me a long time to be able to eat a banana without hearing my mothers voice telling me that it will make me fat.. A banana. My enemy for 48 years.

My internal dialogue used to take away any enjoyment from that simple fruit, instead have me visualising blobs of banana flavoured fat clumping together on my thighs?? Looking back I realise how ridiculous that sounds... But my Mum told me that. It's got be true. Doesn't it?

Now, I feel the damage that was done to me as a kid, a fat kid. Do the parents amongst us realise the damage we cause by our negative self projections to our children? What I was hearing was, "I don't like you because you're fat." I didn't hear, you are my beautiful, gorgeous, funny, smart, witty, clever daughter... Nope, Not once, probably not ever.

As a nation we are the fattest we have ever been, yet we are over run with diets, with gyms, with boot camps and protein shakes and prepackaged, Pre weighed, Pre digested food....  Or something similar.. If it was that easy, we would all the thin, and trim and taut and terrific. But we aren't. 

The secret is, what is in our heads. It's about how we speak to ourselves, our internal relationship with food. What we believe about ourselves. How we see our strengths, how we see our weaknesses.

How we react to those is the secret.. So remember, set your goal. Do what's necessary to win.. Every day. 

why?

Because you are one of the smartest, most beautiful people I have ever met. You deserve to be healthy too. 

If you are struggling with your internal dialogue and setting goals, give me a call.. I'm proud to say my Life and Wellness Coaching Centre is up and running, and achieving amazing successes already. You can be one of them.. :)