Back to basics.

A long time ago, a wise man said to me.. What are your non-negotiables? 

After obviously seeing the blank look on my face, he continued.. What are the things that you must do to reach your goal? Eg if your goal is to walk Everest, you would need to have done some training, bought some equipment in preparation for it, booked flights, etc.

My goal at the time was to be a size 12, to buy clothes in a normal sized clothing store, and to be seen as someone worth taking on a date... So I remember thinking, okay, well I'd need a great pair of stilettos. But I think he was looking for something a little more health related. :)

After a little more thought, my list was as follows:

drink more water

Move more

Prepare for the week in advance.

That was it. And so I began. And here I am now, a couple of years down the track, telling the tale of success, at that time seemed unobtainable. 

What has got me thinking about all of this is, I have just been in contact with a gorgeous young lady, with a pretty face, a kind heart and a lot of weight to loose. I mean a real lot. I wanna help this person, she has been an acquaintance of mine for many many years, and is too valuable a person to see fall by the wayside. She has a beautiful family and works hard for her lifestyle.

Together, you and me and this gorgeous lady, we are gonna do this. We are gonna all get fit, get healthy and get happy. Leave our emotional baggage behind, starting today. Forgive those we need to, forget those we need to, and move forward with the rest of our lives. Starting now.

Loosing weight is easy, once you get your head into the game.. It's not your body that betrays you, it's your head. So, get that thinking right, and the rest is easy. Allow me to outline quickly, what we have been through before on this blog, for my friend who hasn't read all of it yet..

Step one. 

SMART goal.. Written down. In positive terms. Do not write I want to loose 10kg, write "I am now 65 kg and feeling fabulous" (or what ever your current weight is minus what you want to loose.) 

I am happy if you do in small increments, eg 20 kg at a time, rather than scare yourself and say 80 kgs straight up!

Write when this will occur.. One month, end of year whatever, but it must have a date.

Make sure the goal is achievable, please don't set yourself up for failure straight up with a goal that cannot possibly be attained. Make sure the goal is realistic.

Make sure your goal is timely, or tangible which ever you prefer.. Ensure you have given yourself enough time to reach the goal.. Or as I prefer,T for tangible.. When I can see or feel the results occurring is when I get excited.

As an example- you could write... At the eve of Jims wedding on August 6th 2014, I am 65kg of healthy, fit muscle. I can see myself glowing with vitality and good health. I am surrounded by my family, who are all healthy and happy. All my exercise and healthy eating is paying off, I am feeling and looking fantastic in my new size 12 dress.

Step two:  okay goals are set - now how do you get there. Think about how you will move more, eat better, sleep better, eliminate stress in your world. I have a theory ( yep, another one) that weight collected over the years could easily be attributed to emotional baggage, which may or may not be yours. Have a good long think, about any resentments you are harbouring, and old relationships that still annoy you, and let them go. If it doesn't have a place in your current life, leave it behind. Visualise unpacking the weight on your hips into a suitcase and walking away. Pack those old hurts, personal heartbreaks into a box, shut it, tape it up and put it in the mailbox. Attach it to a balloon and visualise it floating away. Just Let it go. 

Not only will you feel better you may also feel a lot lighter as well, figuratively speaking.

List what gym classes you are going to take, find an accountability partner if you need, make a timetable up, have a gym bag packed etc etc. 

Nows the time to really think about what you eat- and be really honest. Think about what you are going to eliminate from your pantry to help you achieve this goal.

Spend Sunday nights writing your food plan or ideas for the week, cook ahead if you are time poor. Do the shopping when you are not in a rush, stressed or hungry. Write an exercise plan for the week. Get the money ready in a wallet in your gym bag. Be organised. Prepare for success.

Step three: stop weighing yourself. In the days when I ate bread, I could gain up to 3 kgs overnight, just eating two slices of bread. I used to get so down on myself, get sad, eat chocolate. I now weigh prob once a month, just to see how I'm travelling, but really the best sign is your clothes. Pick an outfit that is just a little snug, and keep it for trying on once a week or fortnight. That gives you much more satisfaction that those bloody things laying on the bathroom floor that really only measure your relationship with gravity, on any given day. 

Step four: minimise all carbohydrates, eliminate as much processed food and preservatives as you can. DO NOT drink diet Coke etc. it's poison. It is assisting you in keeping you overweight. It's crap. You wouldn't drink Roundup, so don't drink Diet Softdrink. Eat as much fresh foods as you can. Google paleo recipes. Our family has never eaten so well as we do now. I never feel like I am missing out on anything. Now, when I buy our meat for dinner, I buy what's on special, go home and google a recipe that matches. Eg paleo recipe with chicken thighs. It's so simple. You have no excuses to eat boring food every again. It's so much fun!

Step five: Exercise . A lot. Mix it up. Trick your body everyday, never let it get complacent. 

I know someone who has walked around "Jenny Craig Straight" for 20 years at 5 am but still struggles with her weight. Why? Because her body is used to it, it's just part and parcel of her everyday existence, and the body allows for it. She would loose so much weight if she spent that same time doing different exercise, but she is comfortable in that mindset, and won't change. Her loss, or not, as it happens. 

Doing cardio is great for fitness, but not real good for weight loss. If you want to loose weight and make a positive change in your body quickly, join a gym and get into weight resistance training. Google easy exercise to start, or get a PT in the gym to show you what to do to begin with. Increase intensity as you get fitter. There is a lady in my gym class that has a tshirt that says " running in a treadmill will get you nowhere" which is true on more than one level.

Step Six: eliminate the temptations in your world. This one is a little tricky and may take a lot of work. Not buying the wrong food at the shops is easy, it's changing your lifestyle that's hard. Does your social life resolve around alcohol and too much of the wrong food? Do you have friends that are happy with the way you are, and would probably be annoyed ( read jealous) if you made positive change? 

I learned the hard way, that some people like you to be overweight and unhappy, not very self confident. And they will go to extraordinary lengths to keep you like that.. Sabotage sound familiar to anyone? 

You really need to move these people out of your social sphere. There is a saying that goes, "you are the average of the 5 people you most hang around". Hmm food for thought right there.. Are the 5 people you most hang around, a positive influence on you, supportive, helpful? 

It was about this time, that I started realising I had a sabotager in my midst, someone who benefitted by having me large, unattractive, unhappy, reliant. It was also around this time I started reading every self help book I could lay my hands on. Louise Hay, "you can heal your life" is a ripper. 

Make friends with people in your gym class, the lady you see each morning on your walk, the lady over the road who like gardening like you. Anyone who has that 'we can do it" attitude. Change your Friday night drinks from the pub to a game of squash. Make a night indoor cricket team. You get the idea. 

So, These are the basics of starting a weight loss plan of attack. A fitness goal. A plan to live as long and as productive life as you can. Write your list of non negotiables. What are you going to do each and every day to make positive change in your world? Then just do it. 

Think about all of the things that you can do when you achieve this. How good you will feel, how happy and healthy you will be. How proud your kids will be of your achievements. 

Then think of the things that you won't be ale to do in the future, if you don't start now. 

Change your thoughts and you can change the world. Trust me. 

I'm not different.

Happy Sunday!

I have a lot of people tell me how lucky I am to have lost weight. How good I am for being able to eat only healthy food. WTF?

I am no different to everyone else. I struggle to say no to chocolate slice, or pudding, or cake or anything that resembles cocoa - and I do not always say no... Unfortunately.

At Xmas holiday time, I spent a great couple of weeks with Hugo's family. We laughed lots and ate lots,  sitting around the camp site, chilling out and enjoying the company of like minded people. Good people, fun times. But the food, it was plentiful. And not always what I should have eaten. On more than one occasion, I caved. I tried, but I caved. I'm now paying the price for that.

Prior to Xmas, I had not had any allergic type reactions from food for weeks, not hot flushes, no bloating, no stomach pains. But... Since then. WOW!

My hot flushes have been back with a vengeance. The days I eat totally clean, they are minimal, but if I even think about straying off the clean eating path, I become a furnace. The sweat pours from me like I'm running a marathon! 

As horrible as it sounds, I have learned a lot about the workings of the human body. To filter out all the crap we eat, our liver gets a workout. Our liver is one of the biggest organs in our bodies and so when it's over worked, it gets hot..therefore The rest of our body also heats up, and produces sweat to cool down. Toxins will also be discarded in sweat. It appears I have a few to be discarded..

Hot flushes are bloody awful - but I have worked out, to be rid of them, I need to eat clean. I need to exercise daily, drink lots of water and sweat a lot. It's simple really.

I'm not lucky, I'm not special, I have no more hours in my day nor more willpower than you...  I just know that If you want to reach the goal, you have to do what's necessary to attain it.

Are you ready to do what's necessary to reach your goal?

Survived Day one at gym

Following on from yesterday's post about  doing something you love every day.. Today was Day One for Gym Class in 2014. Yee haaaaa! 

Yep- we kicked it off at 9 am with a Bootcamp. I even convinced 3 others in the family to come..'come to Bootcamp, she said, it'll be fun, she said' as we sweated and sweltered in the un-airconditioned tin shed, we call a basketball court! 😄

I loved it. The rest of my troupe? Hmm, well I'm not too sure. Hugo gets cranky when he's dehydrated and let's just say there was more than one occasion in today's session when I handed him the water bottle!

I came home chattering away on a high, excited and pumped up that classes had restarted for the year.. But just because I love the gym and pushing myself to the limit, doesn't mean it's for everyone.

Hugo is a great support to me, he always comes to gym if I ask, but today it was clear he doesn't enjoy it. I'm not gonna ask him anymore. It's not fair.

Just because I love it, and it makes me feel energised,doesn't mean gym has the same effect on everyone. The hard courts hurt his knees from years of accumulated footy injuries, but he perseveres. But, he is my support team, I can't kill him! I gotta take care of this bloke. 'Smash it' class exhausted him, but today's class annoyed him. First class back after an extended break - it was hot, and it was damn hard work. 

So find the exercise that's right for you, don't just follow the crowd. Find an exercise you want to do, that way, you are likely to continue to attend.

Don't just walk the same block every night though, mix it up. Keep your body guessing. Make it fun. Run a little, walk a little, skip a little. Laugh a lot. Kick a footy in the park. Roller Derby.

 Whatever makes you happy.

 Just move. Often. 

On a side note - one of the sand bags that we had to lift today was 25 kilos. We had to sling across our shoulders and run the length of the building and back. It was bloody hard. Hot, heavy  and uncomfortable. 

When I had completed my run I realised that I had, for years, walked around with almost three times that weight 24/7. 

It was then,  I had my WOW moment... It hit me then what extra pressure I was placing on my body back then. On my heart, and muscles and bones. And I once again gave thanks to the people who've helped me get to here. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm determined to build a better me. I've long given up comparing myself to others, I just want to be the best version of me, that I can be. Wish me luck. 

And so 2014 begins

I guess you were all expecting a positive New Years quote on Jan 01st, or at least in the first week or so.. 

Hmm, sorry about that - I figured most people would fall into the categories of New Years Resolutioners, those feeling guilty about their overindulgences at Xmas, or those already bombarded by the 'guilt spreaders and fun squashers'.

Either way, you didn't need me telling you to SYM MYA in the last fortnight, as I'm sure you were harder on yourself than I would have been..

Life happens. Remember? Be gentle with yourself. Make plans, but be open to alternatives.

Now, I'm not necessarily a New Years Resolution maker, I prefer to make goals at all times throughout the year, as you all know. But, this New Years Eve found me amongst new friends, away from home and familiar surroundings, enjoying a soda water or two whilst watching the fire works. People all enquiring about New Years resolutions, and sharing their goals for this year. 

I got around to thinking about my Grand Plan for 2014. Earlier in the day, I had checked my 2013 list - kind of  a small tradition for me each New Years Eve, and there I discovered one thing I hadn't managed to tick off the list. A small thing, which I had forgotten about, and because I didn't have these goals up anywhere obvious as I usually do, I had overlooked it. 

Now, on a large scale, its no big deal, but for a person like me who is Borderline OCD, it has really pissed me off. If I took the time to check my list, this task could have been completed at any stage during the last few weeks of the year. It was as simple as cleaning out a particular cupboard,  but I took my eyes off the goal. And as a result, I had an entry on 2014 slate that didn't need to be there. Needless to say it was one if the first things I completed when I arrived back in Qld. I feel much better already, oddly enough. Unfinished business is now taken care of, phew.

I'm sure you know that I am a huge believer in writing a list- of things to do, of places to visit, exercise classes to attend, people to see, and books to read. And usually, when I concentrate, I achieve all of them. 

Someone said something to me at New Years, that has made me think.  My 2014 list is gonna be different. 

Di is a vivacious, fit, healthy lady in her 60's who recently lost a brother in law. We were talking about my dream of walking the Way of St James, across Spain, and she said "I'd love to do that, I might only have 20 years left and I can only hope they are good years, so I'm making the most of it!" 

What surprised me was she wasn't bitter, or morbid about it. Di said this with such conviction, like an all knowing truth. She has faced the fact. Life is way too damn short to be sitting inside watching the cricket on TV.

So, in light of Di's revelation, This year I'm adding things that scare me. Things that make me feel uncomfortable. Things I've been meaning to do for years. Like ghost tours, and 50k push bike rides. 

It's time I stepped out of the safety cocoon and into the moment. 2014 will be a year of saying yes to opportunity, of jumping at chances and to making the most of the time I have been allotted.

This year I will do something I enjoy every day. Every single day. Like reading, or running, or watching a movie that makes me think differently, or writing this blog sitting by the river rather than in the office. 

So far I've managed a Ghost tour of a psychiatric asylum at night, a 46 kilometre push bike ride through the winery district of northern Victoria, visited my hometown, and my Dad's grave, hugged some very special people, watched a great movie, and had a dinner date with a friend I've not seen in 33 years. At this very moment, I'm sitting by the river, in the shade, blogging and fishing for barramundi. 2014 is off to a great start. 

Tomorrow, gym classes start again. New Year, new timetable, new challenges. Bring it on. I'm ready. I've missed it during the break. 

Unbelievably, a fortnight has already gone from the time we are given in 2014, leaving just 25 left to achieve any set  goals. Write your plan of action and keep your eyes on the prize. 

What are you waiting for? The time is right now. For booking a trip, for catching a fish, for reading that book, for getting fit and feeling great. 

You have 25 fortnights and your time starts now...

 Oh and I've just caught a barramundi!!!! 

I have an addiction...

Hello my name is Wendy. 

And I have an addiction. Or ten.

I am addicted to notebooks and to pens that write smoothly. I find notebooks all over the house, in every room I use,with snippets of info I have read, or ideas that I have had and will forget if I don't write down. Trouble is, I then can't remember where I put the book.

I am addicted to medjool dates, which until this year I had never eaten in my life.

I am addicted to laughing, and to bargain shopping. 

I have also now realised I am addicted to exercise class. 

Yesterday, for a number of reasons, I didn't schedule class into my morning. I work from home most days, and can usually please myself about how I schedule my day when Hugo is away, but Wednesday I volunteer my services at the local PCYC. Hugo will be home from work next Monday, so I need to have everything I had planned ( in a notebook ) completed prior to his return. Hence, the haste. I am a very hard task master... And I plan to achieve so much in the time he is away, so I can spend my down time with him when he is home.

I got dressed into my "going to the office" clothes, and off I went. Ready to spend the morning reviewing compliance and then head home to tackle my list of things to do. I had a plan, and I was sticking to it. 

I arrived at PCYC just as class was starting, and I was a little disappointed that I couldn't join in. The usual suspects were all there, happy and ready to tackle Kylie's class. i copped some good natured ribbing about being a scaredy cat in not attending. 

Then I discovered that my PCYC work partner was actually away, so I had free reign over my hours instead. I then was faced with a choice, head saying get home and get your jobs done, heart saying, get home, get some gym clothes on, and join in...I knew my every growing list was waiting, so I let my head win out and came home to tackle the office work. 

I really was flat out, I filed, I emailed, I net searched, I paid bills, I created invoices, for hours.. I got hot and cranky, and annoyed at every interruption. I was out of sorts all day. 

At 5.30pm I had had enough and decided to go to an evening exercise class. I lifted weights and did circuit training twice. I squatted and stretched and planked. I hurt. A lot. 

But, I came out of that class rejuvenated. I felt sore, but exhilarated. I realised that missing class yesterday morning was the reason I was out of sorts. I needed the exercise. My body was not looking for passive movement such as office work yesterday, she was looking for running, for lifting, for sweating.

I guess it is true about what you do often becomes a habit. Just like one glass of wine turns to two and three.. I now don't crave chocolate and lollies, and if I have a bite of the kids treats, it doesn't have that YUM factor that it used to. And if I'm really honest, I don't enjoy those things much at all. I now know bread makes me very unwell, even just one slice of toast will give me a reaction strong enough to put me in bed for hours. 

My body has become addicted ( or very much attached to) exercise. Who would have ever thought? 

Ten years ago, if you had of told me that I would be a 50 year old fit, healthy woman that didn't drink and ate dates instead of chocolate.. I would have laughed. Not because it wasn't what I really wanted to be, but because it was soooo far from the realms of possibility, it seemed just incredulous. Add in the fact that I now write a blog and spend hours helping other women achieve their goals, and I would have been looking for a straight jacket for you! 

Yep, 50. Fit. Happy. Healthy. On the verge of a new beginning as a Life And Wellness Coach. And yes, I'm still pinching myself. 

Recently I got told that a women I used to know, a beautiful, tall, self confident, resilient woman just wants to be like me. WTF? SHE Wants to be like me? Wow. It was flattery at its very highest. This gorgeous, vivacious woman strives to do as I do? 

I have come a very long way...

Who am I?

Some one asked me today "who are you and what do you believe in"? 

Easy enough question I guess.. But I couldn't use the old standards, oh I am a mine site safety, training and compliance officer, with a beautiful partner, and 10 healthy kids between us.. I had to talk about me. 

Not what I did, or who my kids were, or how fabulous Hugo is. Me. Who am I? 

After a few minutes, I worked out I had no damn idea. When you take what I do, who I know, where I volunteer, and who I gave birth to, out of the equation... It was a very hard question upon which to ponder.

And so I begin.... 

I am a youthful 50 year old woman, who loves to travel, to experience new worlds and new cultures. I love to read. I read travel books, and murder mysteries. 

I have laugh lines, lots of them. They create part of my character. I'm told I have a twinkle in my eye, but I think that's just my mischief meter..

I am five foot five of enthusiasm, of ideas, of random thoughts. I've no intention of slowing down, of retiring, of settling in to watch the paint dry on the walls of an over 50's village! I plan to be active, to be  constantly changing my views, challenging my mindset to push the boundaries, learning things about other cultures, other worlds, other lives. 

I enjoy restoring old furniture. I am a homebody these days, and guard my down time closely. My home is my sanctuary, and i have come to really appreciate the time I spend here. I like things to be tidy, neat, orderly. When the house is tidy, I feel like my mind is tidy.

I love meeting new people, introducing them to town, welcoming them to my part of the world. This special place I call home at the moment. The beautiful Emerald City. 

I also I love to work out, I love being able to feel those muscles telling me that "hey, you've not used us for a while, thanks for the workout". I love the camaraderie we have in gym class, and how encouraged and alive those girls make me feel. I am healthy, I am fit, and I am inspired to do more, to be more. 

I am a list writer, a planner, a goal setter, and a perfectionist. I'm a lifelong learner. I like to experience new things, and some of them I write about.

I feel that my heart is at peace now, for the first time in a very long time, I feel centred, settled. Happy. In love. Smitten. 

I have plans on becoming a life coach, and volunteering more of my time to read books to patients at the aged care home. I want to volunteer at the Visitors Information Centre.

I love helping people, making a difference in someone's day. Making people smile. Making overweight people overcome the struggle, overcome that need to spend  money to get healthy. Understand their worth. 

I'm enrolling in Uni when I'm 90.

 I want to gather up a photo of my kids, Hugo and a change of clothes and spend a year or two wandering about in the world.

I believe the world really is a magical place, and we can make a difference. Each and every one of us. 

I believe in love, and that one special someone that everyone has waiting for them. I waited 48 years for Mr Right and all that while I didn't know that all the Mr Wrongs weren't right. Now I do. 

I believe in Santa. I believe in God. I believe that the universe provides us with everything we ask for.

I believe that positive thoughts create positive change. I believe that every word we speak has the power to change everything. Our minds hear everything we say. Be gentle on yourself.

I believe in the innocence of babies and the simplicity of children's thought. I believe we complicate our own lives, why, I'm not real sure. 

I believe in what we focus on, gets bigger. I believe that we should all focus on what we want, not what we don't want.. (Eg, being healthy rather than loosing weight.)

I believe in kindness, and in compassion. I believe in Karma. Big time! 

I believe that sugar is poison, I believe that preservatives are too. I believe in eating natural foods as much as possible, not buying or using any mass produced man made products. I believe that eating healthily shows through the skin.

I believe that my kids are the most handsomely, clever creatures that have ever been created, and they are my my proudest achievement. 

I believe in simplicity. There is much more to life than increasing its speed. Slow down, relax, breathe, enjoy.

And I believe that writing a list of goals and dreams, works. I'm now proof of that.

Other than that, I am a mine site safety, compliance and training officer with a fabulous partner, and ten beautiful healthy kids between us. :)

And you?

Today, I give up.

Thats it. 

 I give up. I'm over trying to loose weight, watch what I eat at every moment, weighing myself religiously. Attempting to loose weight does my head in. So I'm done. Dusted. It's over.

Every day, I wake about 4.30am and most days I go for a run. I come home, strip off for a shower, and weigh. Some days I am down a kilo, somedays I am up 2! When that happens, it just affects my whole day! I find myself getting so down.... And cranky!

2 months ago, I stopped weighing. I took measurements and a photo. I tried one pair of pants and one top on, they just fit. I measured bust, midriff, waist, hips and tops of my thighs. I wrote the measurements in my diary, and stuck in the photo.

My behaviour didn't change. Other than weighing daily, I did nothing different. I ran, I went to gym, I did weights, I rode a bike ( a tiny bit.)

One month later, I measured again. I tried my pants on. I took another photo. I was kinda smaller.

Today, I measured again. I slid my pants on without undoing the zip. I am more than 11cm smaller (total cms). And guess what? I am still around  the same weight as I was 60 days ago. 

And you know something? I don't care! 

I am leaner, fitter, stronger and so pleased that I don't spend all day worrying about what I'm gonna eat next. 

I have taken the focus away from what I eat, and placed it on getting healthy. And I couldn't be happier. I feel better, I look better, apparently, according a new gym buddy.. " I radiate happiness", all this time I thought that was sweat I was radiating. 

I eat when I want, and whatever I feel like. My body now craves fresh fruit salad with Greek yoghurt, instead of toast. It craves green tea most of the day,instead of strong black coffee. My fridge is full of good healthy food. 

But, I've learned to listen, to be thankful and honour this physical body that carts around my soul. I now nourish it. Feed it good food, and exercise it. 

I want it to be around a long time, and to be honest, I've given it a very hard time for a very long time. It's time now, to look after it. Care for it, like I would a classic car.. Use the right fuel, a bit of panel beating, and good buff up, and she comes up all right! 

So, that's another tip, stop worrying about "loosing weight" and just get healthy... It's so much easier, less stressful and much more fun.