What are you really hungry for?

When I'm bored, I check the pantry one more time to see if anything has miraculously appeared since ten minutes ago... Anything in there to eat? Anything in there that will fill the hole, extinguish the hunger I have today?

Sound familiar? 

Yep, I'm sure it does. It used to happen to me. I used to look in the fridge, in the pantry, even in my gym bag to see if there was anything that would satisfy my hunger, my craving for "something", even though I didn't really know what that something was. 

But, no matter how much I ate, I was still hungry. Still searching for that elusive something. 

Yesterday, I had my lightbulb moment.

Like 5 years ago at a Craig Harper session, a light went on again. It really was that simple. The realisation of "knowing" what you need to do to make this work. Just Whoosh.. And there it was. It truly was a " Why the hell didn't I know that?" moment.

I understand now that the something I have been searching for is purpose. My inner fire. The real reason I exist.

No amount of food is ever going to satisfy the hunger for action, for living out my dreams, for taking a stand. For having a go. 

Now, I know. 

Food is not what I need, is not what I'm searching for. What I was searching for was my quest to take SYMMYA to the world. To help each and every one of the people I know that struggles with their weight, with their world. To turn every single person into a SYMMYA Goddess, and have a heap of laughs along the way. I feel like the fire has been ignited, I feel energised and enthused and really excited about the journey. 

What is it that you yearn for? That you want to do but have never had the chance? Never had the funds or e time, or the courage? What is it that you crave? That lights your fire?

Join me. Laugh with me. Let me be the one who turns on the light for you. Come share my vision. You'll love it. 

Black Friday Blues

Happy beautiful sunshiny Black Friday to you!

Just returned home from a long walk in the sunshine, winter is a coming I'm told, but I'm desperately utilising the final days of bliss. Usually Fridays consist  of a 6am class at the gym then a MMA style session in the local botanical gardens, but today, work got in the way of those.. And to be honest I'm glad.

A long walk in the sun was just what my body craved, to feel the warm rays on my hair, on my shoulders and on my face, warming my soul right to the core... I've come home feeling like I've been hugged by an old friend.

Initially I was a little grumpy at my routine being disrupted, typical start to a Black Friday.. But along my walk I got to thinking, do bad things usually happen today because we expect them to? Do we attract that negative energy just because Friday falls on the 13th this month? How silly?

But, in my Facebook newsfeed, I've seen people sad because black Friday has caused them to hit the garage door, to be late for work, to spill their coffee, for their day carer to be sick, and for their flight to be delayed... And then there's me, annoyed because I helped someone out of a bind, missed classes but instead I was rewarded with a beautiful relaxing way to start my morning.. How lucky am I?

How many of you guys are superstitious? Who will only start a new diet or exercise plan on a Monday? Which one of you eats everything in the pantry that's remotely unhealthy on a Sunday night in preparation for the beginning of the new life on Monday morning?

I know sportspeople who have lucky socks, favourite pair of skins to train in.. Me, I have a few pairs of lucky jox that I wear to the gym... They are the ones that don't decide to slide down with my new super expensive athletic tights that I wasted way too much money on, aside from that I don't think I hold too many weird ideas about superstition.... I do, though, believe very strongly in what you declare, you achieve. So keep those thoughts focused on what you do want rather than what you don't! 

I do hope that your Black Friday is as beautiful as mine, that the sun is shining on you at your place, that you end your week feeling as warm and supported as I do. 

Have a wonderful weekend, and enjoy that full moon tonight..... :)

Today's a great day to eat cake.

June 11.

It's my birthday. Phew, I've made it through yet another year of the madness and chaos that I call my world. It's a huge bonus knowing that I'm improving every year, each birthday now brings a time for reflection, for taking stock of all the great things that have happened this year, and for giving thanks.

I am not one that usually celebrates my birthday, for a number of personal reasons, so this year I decided to meet up with some women that I know only through Facebook, instead.

People that are not in my usual sphere of friends, people I am not really sure what they look like,or what their real name is, virtual confidants who's sense of humour, or straight talking attitude has attracted me on FB.

At first I forgot it was my birthday when I arranged to meet for coffee today, and then I thought, why not? What better day to make new friends than on your birthday?

We chatted about kids, and diets, healthy eating and even the flu that's working its way through town. We laughed and smiled and found we have things in common. We connected. Not virtually, but in reality. 

The food was delicious, the coffee hot and the conversation flowed.

I also ate cake.  Without one ounce of guilt. That is a really big step for me. I usually beat myself up about any thing I put in my mouth that isn't in the plan.. I mentally turn a treat into such a negative experience, that my body feels bad just eating it!

Not today. I tasted every mouthful of that sweet gooey chocolatey delight, felt the icy cold ice cream clash with the warm cake... It was heaven. I have worked hard for that cake. I have earned it. Because now my mind knows that, so long as I work hard in the gym, and exercise regularly, I can eat anything I want, without guilt. Without negativity. 

Today, I had my cake and ate it too.

Thanks girls  ( and Jimmy) for a wonderful afternoon, for the positive conversation, for the gift of friendship.

Aside from the sugar headache I have given myself, I am feeling on top of the world.

Happy birthday to me!! :)

Weekend housework, metaphorically speaking...

Monday, for once I am very glad to see you..

I spent the whole of my weekend, cleaning one of our work accommodation units. Yep. ALL weekend. The whole of Saturday and the whole of Sunday taken up with cleaning up someone else's mess.

At first, I was eager to get the job done, then, As time wore on and I realised the enormity of the task, I got cross.  I started frowning, grumbling away at myself about the situation. It was also about then that I became distracted.  I was starting a job, then leaving it to do another, coming back to the first one and leaving it again.. I had lost focus, swearing under my breath and getting angry. I was achieving nothing.

After a time, I realised that I could either suck it up and get the task over and done with, or I could spend more time grumbling and moaning about it. Once I decided to roll up the sleeves, take a big breath and get my head back in the oven, the job seemed to finish up more quickly. The end result was amazing. 

Thinking about it last night, I came to realise that my attitude yesterday could easily be compared to my reactions about getting healthy.. I approach everything with gusto, then I get cross that I'm not getting results fast enough, and start looking for quick fixes.

But, as we all know, to finish cleaning a unit, one has to be methodical. Take all the steps in the right order to make sure it's complete. You wouldn't wash the floors before you swept, would you?

Are you one of those people who stuff things under cushions, hide ironing in the cupboard, magazines under the bed? Are you also one of those people who eat in private? Sneak a chocolate when no one can see? Clean up your lifestyle like you would clean the house, room by room, methodically. Clean up, clear out. 

Eating well, drinking lots of water, exercising and getting plenty of sleep. That is what works, that is what will clean your personal unit effectively. Just roll up your sleeves, take a deep breath and know that you will do it. You will win this battle. 

We all know that using mildew spray in the shower, unless you clean it continually, the mildew returns. Same as using the latest fad meal replacement, unless you choose to pay $350 a month for the rest of your life, that weight is gonna return.  You have to create for yourself, a workable routine, not one that makes you feel hungry and sick or tired, but one that fills you with energy and vitality. A routine that allows you to be the best you can be, happy and healthy, and one where the money stays in your pocket for more meaningful pursuits. 

Loosing weight is really about our mental approach, the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. "Go girl you can do it, scrubbing these tiles for three hours on your hands and knees is a fantastic workout for your upper arms"- or "FFS the people that live in this house are just pigs, look at this mess!!" You choose your attitude. It's up to you, to keep positive, keep that internal dialogue upbeat and encouraging. What you declare, you achieve, so make sure your goals are always positive! Feel free to borrow my mantra if you need to..  I'm thin and healthy, successful and wealthy. :)

Get your head in the game, get your thoughts straight, plan why you want to loose weight, think of all the great things you will gain by loosing weight, and keep your focus on the end result.

It may take a little longer, but getting your personal space clean and clear, bright and sparkling, is a job worth doing properly. 

And you alone, have the power to get it done. Now. Monday. No better time to start. 

A day in the big smoke...

After last weeks episode of hiding in my blankie fort, vowing never to come out... I have finally made it out in the real world again. Still feeling bruised and emotionally battered, and struggling to understand why I'm feeling like this. I've nothing to be sad about, I'm the luckiest girl in the world.. 

Yesterday I flew to Brisbane, for a business meeting this morning, and i spent the evening strolling through the city streets, watching people scurry about their business, in a hurry, drinking coffee or talking on their phones, earphones in.. Everywhere I went, people were distracted by phones, by music playing loud enough in their ears for me to enjoy too... Or not.. Even couples walking together, with earphones in and checking Facebook.. Weird huh?

It got me thinking about how the world is becoming an increasingly lonely place, with every new app or social media option, we are becoming more and more disconnected from each other, and more reliant on the virtual world. A world where we can be whoever we wanna be... We can be single and hunting on Zoosh, we can be millionaires looking to buy property on the French Riveria, ( or is that just me??). Or we can be 50 year old women writing blogs about how hard it is to win the battle over weight... Yep, anyone we want to be... Virtually.

Today, I got up early, and went for my favourite jog in Brisbane. Over the bridge, through Southbank and back over the other bridge. Today, I decided to engage with as many people as I could today, just to see what happened.

I made a joke with the rubbish collector going over the bridge, I winked at the sad African fellow walking to work, I gave the disabled singer a thumbs up for his efforts, I told a man he looked really dapper in his red pants and orange suspenders, I thanked every person I saw in a Blues Jersey, I bought a single Gerbera from the Farmers Market and gave it to a old lady waiting to cross the road, I had a conversation with a man called Andrew who used to work in the Dept Administration Services, I hugged a beautiful lady who had lost a lot of weight recently, i thanked the cleaner in the toilets at Central Station, I bought a coffee and a muffin for the homeless lady in Queen St, I called a cab and made sure the young girl who was crying in Adelaide St got away safely, and I bought another chocolate for the man on security at the airport. 

An older Asian lady came and shook my hand after watching me deliver the coffee and muffin to the homeless lady, I'm not sure what she said, but her eyes told me that she approved. Everyone of these people connected, looking at me with smiling eyes, and said thank you. 

Tonight as I write this blog update on the flight home, I feel somehow lighter, happier that maybe I made a small difference in someone's world today, and it somehow feels like its healed me a little too. Perhaps I was just lonely too, spending all my time either in the gym or in my home office... 

Give it a go. See if spreading a little connection makes a difference in your world too. And message me with the updates. Please.

Oh and by the way, you are looking fabulous today! :)

Who the hell am I anyway?

Today I'm struggling.. Really struggling.

Seems. I've lost my sense of purpose.

Once upon a time I used to be the mother of 5 kids, or the person who ran that shutdown team, or that bitch of a safety officer from GCM..but, I was always "someone". maybe it was just the fat lady that helped out the senior cits on Thursday... but i had a reason to be alive, a purpose.

Today, I felt like a nobody.

I walked into coffee shops and it took them 15 minutes to see me standing there, I roamed listlessly through the house trying to find things to amuse myself during the day. I watch on whilst Hugo came home from a days work, to set up his computer and do all the things that I could have done...but wasn't asked to.

I waited till this afternoon to go to boot camp then miss my chance because Hugo is busy doing something else. I'm bored, I'm cranky and I'm lonely.

And that, may I tell you, is a very dangerous situation for me.

It is in situations like this that I make life changing decisions. Some smart, some not so..

In the past, it usually signals a time for me to walk away, look elsewhere, wander off in search of things to keep me learning, reaching, extending myself to bigger or better things.... Or not. 

Sometimes in situations like this, I have made choices that I came to regret.. Like over eating out of boredom. 

I need something to think about, to plan, to work on. 

Hence my creation of a new website today.. Yep, I got that bored that I made a website. All by myself. Yep, amazing huh? Even I'm surprised. 

I'm just finishing the final touches in the coming weeks, getting my checkout and online shop sorted, before it goes live... LOOK OUT WORLD, I'M COMING!

Very soon, you will be able to buy SYMMYA tshirts, and take selfies, wearing them for me to upload, and all kinds of exciting things.. I bet you can't wait? Lol..

I started the day directionless, sad and felling lost... And ended with a seething anger, channelled into determination to succeed.. At everything.

Encouragement and all that good stuff....

Some one once told me I am the Gordon Ramsey of weight loss... I was flattered, well I think I was..

Gordon Ramsey hasn't really got a very pleasant demeanour but he gets the job done, regardless.  

If you have found my site looking for warm and fuzzy.. I think maybe you're in the wrong place. 

If you're here to find the reason to get off your backside and get this show in the road... Well buckle up, lovely, and enjoy the ride.

I know I am not the best at listening to excuses why exercise isn't a priority, and I do find it hard not to glaze over whilst watching you eat yet another muffin, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I'm just busy.

Really I am, I like to utilise my time with people who are fair dinkum. Honest. I apologise in advance if my eyes start rolling when you give me the same old excuses about why you missed gym again this week.. It's not my fault, it's my allergic reaction to bullshit.

But, I have always made more enemies than I've made friends, so Much so, that it now doesn't bother me if you like me or not. What you think of me is none of my business. I'm blunt, I'm direct, And I will tell you the things you don't want to hear if you ask me the wrong questions. But, I also am the person who will keep you accountable. If you tell me your aim is to exercise, or eat right or stop smoking, I expect that you are telling me the truth. I expect you are also being truthful to yourself. 

Since starting this blog, I have noticed I have lost contact with some people who weren't being true to themselves. People i thought were my friends. At first I took it personally, but over time I have realised that maybe it was easier for them to stay home and complain, than to join me in a walk or exercise class and commit to making healthy decisions. I'm sorry if the sight of me makes you feel guilty about eating cake, or drinking wine, but is that my problem, or yours?

If exercise or giving up smoking is not one of your goals, or not high on your list of priorities, don't kid yourself. Don't make a goal according to someone else's values ( yes, even mine.. ) Set yourself a goal that you know you will be able to achieve eg cleaning out all the kitchen cupboards. Start small, and work up to the ones that really matter to you, rather than kidding yourself that you will go to gym every day, when that really doesn't float your boat.

Be real. Be realistic. Be kind to yourself and stop setting yourself up for failure. If you are happy to sit at home on the lounge, watching reality shows, and then kid yourself that a re-run of A Biggest Loser is a weight loss tool,  then that's fantastic.. 

But if you are, like me, one of those people who need a kick up the pants, a virtual shakeup, and the feeling like there is someone watching you enter that coffee shop... Welcome to the world of SYMMYA.

 A land where we are accountable for our actions, where every action has a consequence and where we know that it is up to us to make the change. 

And in the words of good old Gordie... FFS, shut your mouth and move your arse.

You will thank me in the long run.