Wednesday 31 July 2013

5 days Pre Surgery

So, today's effort at avoiding the issue has worked a treat..

I walked 8 kilometres this morning before coming home and heading the the local PCYC where I volunteer hours every week to assist with OHS issues and help with any out of the ordinary administrative issues- today we wrote an application for the Business Excellence Awards. PCYC are a fantastic community based gym here in town and I love the vibe that surrounds the place, I always walk out of there feelin upbeat and happy.

I've spent the rest of the afternoon actually doing what I get paid to do, and that is, running a Maintenance Resource company. We have a shutdown coming up in South Australia soon, and there are men to organise..pffftttt... Harder to herd than cats!

Now, as I gaze out my not so clean office windows, onto the not so clean car, parked near the garden that needs weeding, over by the BBQ that needs cleaning, I write myself a to do list for tomorrow... None of which contains any form of packing for hospital or practical thought about the surgery. Although I do need to get my shellac nail polish removed, maybe a manicure is in order.

The nurse tells me to pack something easy to wear whilst in hospital, what the hell does that mean? I find chiffon easy to wear, but I'm not sure that any of my race wear frocks are really that suitable for a hospital stay. These are the kinds of things that I am hoping to write lists about afterward - important things, like what constitutes easy to wear hospital attire aka how to successfully wear chiffon before 5pm. :)

Having a blog to write has also allowed me to limit my Internet access to more positive things, and has lessened my need to type " horrendously graphic photos of plastic surgery fails" into the google search box... A little... I'm actually starting to think I have exhausted the 'nets cache of horrendously graphic photos of anything now, after umpteen years of being a mine safety officer combined with my current search, I think I've just about got it covered.

Chuck,  my 4th son, starts another job tonight as a Branch Support Officer also at PCYC- he's madly saving for Schoolies on the Gold Coast, but let's not talk about that -I'm taking the bury the head in the sand approach to this years "overindulgence in underwear" event. I will tell him the same as I've told the last two kids to complete year 12 and wish to celebrate this event in a Qld coastal town... Two things I do not want them to be, arrested or on the nightly news! He is actually a great young bloke, and eating Paleo has cleared his teenaged skin up a lot, so the benefits continue.

I'm back to full on Paleo eating today, suffered the ill effects of the Adelaide days off Paleo till late last night, feeling much better today. Undertook a big baking session of oopsie rolls, banana loaf, apricot rolls, date and almond balls, fruit and nut biscuits with not a teaspoon of sugar in sight. Cooking and eating paleo is not hard, but it does take some organisation and forward planning.


Off to Low Impact Exercise class tonight -  going to take Cate, my daughter, she loves any chance she can get to punch me, hard.. So she comes to low impact, kick n box, and combat x training with me each week, and I'm sure it's only to get the chance to accidentally pop a light kick to my forehead every now and again under the guise of being unco-ordinated. It's my last session of low impact for a while, so no doubt she will make the most of this opportunity. 






Tuesday 30 July 2013

6 Days Pre Surgery

Up and at 'em early today for an early morning flight back to sunny Queensland, although Adelaide did turn on some nice weather for my visit yesterday, I shouldn't complain. 

Dinner was at the Glenelg Marina last night, at a swanky seafood restaurant, freshly caught whiting - delicious.. But, of course, even though I did sneak in just a couple of handcut chips, I ended the evening feeling bloated and almost nauseous. Nights like that remind me how well I feel when eating mainly Paleo foods, (and how unwell I felt prior!) 
I should have been smarter about my foods yesterday, eating airline food and then dinner out was a recipe for disaster- in hindsight it would have been so simple to pack nuts, dates, fruit etc, and not bothered with the inflight offerings at all.. Learning for next time. Hugo is a Gold Frequent Flyer, me just measly Silver... But it does mean a quick trip into the Qantas lounge between flights, nicer, fresher food for todays journey - but much less opportunity to people watch.

The flight today seems quite uneventful after yesterday's... Having the WWE wrestlers on my flight meant that our arrival into Adelaide was met by many screaming fans, autograph hunters, security and the Federal Police... Lol... In Brisbane, they had 4 pimply faced young twigs in black t shirts ensuring their safety, Qld style.. Adelaide, whole different story- I was rescued by one of the wrestlers- (John Cena apparently, according to a fan) after security mistook me for a groupie and wouldn't let me through to collect my luggage... Lol... Must have been the leather jacket.  Today's journey seems almost sedate in comparison... I also have the fabulous Hugo as my travelling partner today, his calming influence will assure that there is no drama's along the way today. I don't know what it is about him, but I never seem to find myself in any mischief when he is about. I probably should tell you about Hugo...

Hugo and I have been together for a couple of years, we met at work, both of us were unhappily partnered at the time, and after just a few months of getting to know each other professionally, it became clear to each of us that we were meant to be together. He is the yin to my yang, I guess.. I feel like i have found the other half of me. Nothing at all like what I thought my "perfect" partner was- and I'm certainly no where near his idea of the perfect woman either.. Lol.. But somehow, we fit. He also has 5 children, all boys, so combined we'd make quite a formidable team! He is kind hearted, smart, sensitive and caring. Hugo is one of those people who likes to do the right thing by everyone, and I love him dearly. He is one of those people that are constantly busy, so I am worried about how he will cope with my being "extra-needy" the next few weeks.. I have never really been sick for any extended period of time before, I am not really very good at inactivity nor being dependent on anyone for assistance, so the next few weeks will be interesting. He has never made me feel like I am anything less than perfect but he is very supportive of my decision to have my "human floor rug" removed finally.

Had a friend tell me last night that her Mum has had a similar surgery to me, and said it took little time for her to recover, she was on a long haul flight within a week, and that it was the best thing she had ever done... Wow... A positive reconstructive surgery story - don't hear too many of those. I was so excited to hear that, up till now it was seemingly all doom and gloom so I was getting more and more nervous with each passing day. Today, I'm feeling pretty good about it.. I have a "can-do" mindset now and I'm sure that it will all go smoothly.

Finally home at the McMansion, and spent the afternoon cleaning out the kitchen cupboards. Oh such fun.





Monday 29 July 2013

7 Days Pre Surgery - Distraction Required Urgently.

Airports.... A constant source of movement, overladen passengers and fat laden foods.. 

Okay, I confess... I am a people watcher .. Big time. I love airports. And shopping centres, and queues, weird I know, but I love it! Any opportunity to watch, to study and to wonder about people's fascination with shit food and their increasing inability to deal with boredom. 

Airports food courts. Yuk, One of the many places in the world that have been created to fill the Holes of Time with piles of preservatives cleverly disguised as seemingly appetising food,  and really bad coffee.. 
Why are there not massage kiosks, hairdressers, nail bars or gyms in these places that thousands of people hang out in for hours on end? Do we really need to have a 6 week old, full of preservative, choc mud muffin when we have either just eaten on a plane or we are about to eat on another? Or line up 7 deep to buy a dozen pack of Krispy Kremes to bribe the kids with? Sugar and fat treat anyone? Or perhaps a free wine tasting, we'd love to sell you a carton today  and for a great price we'll make sure 2 dozen more bottles arrive on your doorstep each month... Easy. You don't even need to walk outside your house boundary.. You just lay there, on your lounge watching Ellen, and we'll make sure the postie brings them right to your door. 

On a recent trip to Thailand, Hugo and I got around to asking one of the many suit hustlers on the street, how he can pick each nationality with such success? 'Aussies, mate, are built like kangaroos.. Little head, big arse, men got the pouch as well, must be the vegemite' 
In shock, we looked around, he's right... Almost every Aussie that walked along the street was a similar shape. Little head, big arse.. Beer guts abound!
Is that how other nationalities look at us? What happened to Australia, a sporting nation? 

Last month, for my 50th birthday ( OMG did I just say that aloud??) Hugo and I went to Paris. For dinner. At the Eiffel Tower. Okay, I know it was extravagant, but I have dreamt of it for many a year, saved for a long time, worked hard blah blah...
We spent almost three weeks in France, both in the city and the glorious French countryside. We ate real food, a lot. We ate croissants and pastries and had hot chocolate on the Champs Élysées, champagne and pâté picnics on the lawns of the Eiffel Tower. It was real organic food, everywhere.. No separate section in the markets for gluten free or organic food that cost 50% more. No, just real food, no packets, no preservatives - everywhere we looked. Wine with no preservatives that didn't make me sneeze or loose my way home. 
I already miss the small village markets that filled the air with fragrances of strawberries and tomatoes and lamb being rotisseried right there in the square.. It was heaven. Ahhhhhh...

But I digress..

Back in the airport lounge, ( wishing I was waiting for the flight to CDG instead of ADL), 18 of the last 20 people that have just walked past me were overweight, a couple even bordering on morbidly obese- I'm allowed to say that- I used to be a fat chick too remember? Are they our national stats now?  9 out of every 10 Aussies are overweight? What's happened to us? 
Now, I find I have to stop myself from shouting, "put down those chips, you're not hungry, you're bored.... FFS, don't do this to yourself, don't end up like me.... " It pains me to watch gorgeous three year old kids being force fed this shit, to keep them quiet, or to distract them from the boredom of waiting.

For those of you reading this that have or will have children, please find alternative ways of entertaining your children other than bad food, or iPads, or computer games or iPhones... Go for a walk, watch the planes land, people watch and make up ridiculous stories for each person. Laugh. Out loud. A lot.  Encourage their creativity, the world is a fabulous place if you look around it. 
I was at an exercise class recently that was marketed for mothers with small children, which I'm not, but hey, it's next door,  and I felt guilty watching their sweat sparkle whilst having green tea in the sun on the verandah and  I was truly surprised to see the children being sat on blankets with piles of pre packaged, processed shit food to eat whilst their mothers ran, and planked and attempted to kettlebell their arses off. Irony anyone? 

As my boarding times approaches, it is becoming evident that the blokes sitting next to me must be some kind of famous people. Otherwise it's me that's creating such excitement... But I've only been writing this blog for one day... could i be famous already? Could I be? Would I be? Oh how will I cope with the paparazzi, and the fans and oh, it's not me..
Lol, nope- turns out that the only healthy looking blokes on this flight are WWE wrestlers.. Like I would have any clue. To me, they look like any other everyday gym junkie, but with American accents, slicked back hair, polo shirts three sizes too small and their sleeves rolled up- hey, isn't that bloke the butler in the Addams Family??
Apparently not! I was set very straight by some ageing groupies that came complete with WWE merchandise and who would do anything to get some autographs.. They travel the same circuit when 'the boys' come to town, heading onto Adelaide on a later flight for tonight's show,  and they've been waiting at the airport for a glimpse of their idols all morning... 
See? Dedication.. It all pays off in the long run.. What did I tell you? Everything comes to those who wait, or wear tight leather pants and leopard skin boots at 65 ish. Go girls!

Boarding the plane, it becomes evident that I am seated in an exit row, odd seeing how I don't need the extra legroom, and now it appears the whole success of WWE Australia is sitting with my ability to get the exit door open in time.. Couldn't those blokes be seated here instead? I would think their credentials for this purpose are much better than mine.  To the WWE diehard fans out there, I want you to know in advance, I tried my hardest. If this plane goes down and they don't make it, I did try to pull on that red handle as hard as I could... Lateral pull downs have just never been my strong point, okay? Forgive me.

So, I guess I should probably make mention of the real reason I'm here today, to take my mind off the impending surgery. I have so much to do before it, yet still I feel the need to escape it instead. As silly as it sounds, I want to spring clean the house before surgery, change the sheets on all the beds, wash the exterior windows of the house etc, yet here I am grappling with fairy sized spoons and airline pods of H2O instead. Diversionary tactics at its finest! 
If I was at home, I wouldn't be cleaning the house or washing the windows, who am i trying to kid? I would be spending the majority of my day scaring myself with horror stories about circumferential body lifts from the Internet... 
I have even web-searched my surgeon, with great success I might add, turns out he is a writer in his spare time and spends time every year in under developed countries performing reconstructive surgery for those with terrible disfigurements.. What a great bloke! For some strange reason, this philanthropic side of him, has given me a feeling if profound confidence in my own surgery, as if compassion would have any reflection on ability?? 

I have 6 days of relative normality left.. Wish me luck. 




Sunday 28 July 2013

About Me

This blog is being created for my own personal use, I guess, as a cathartic way of making my way through the next few months. So let me quickly give you some background on how I got to be here.

In the last 8 or so years, I've lost close on 60 kilos through determination and hard work. I would love to be able to say that it was easy, but it wasn't. I hate pain, I hate sweat, but I worked out that this weight that I had was not going anywhere until I burned it off, kilo by hot, sweaty, uncomfortable kilo.

For years prior, My brain had convinced my body that I couldn't loose weight.. When in actual fact, I was just bloody lazy. 

I was a single mum of 5 gorgeous kids, working long hours and struggling to make ends meet. We ate cheap food that was quick to prepare, and although the children never went hungry, we certainly were not eating wholesome nutritious food.

I loved a glass of wine of an evening, along with the cheese and biscuits that accompanied it. I was lonely, and attended every social event in the small town where I lived. 

This lifestyle, although much fun ( perhaps i should be blogging about that mischief instead, it would make more exciting reading!!)  was not good for my weight issues  I was more than 137 kilos at my highest weight! Something had to give! 

I knew I had to loose weight, and I tried lots ofttimes, but I was never very dedicated, nor excited about it... And too damn easily distracted by the offer of a free wine or two at the local art exhibition!
The town I lived in had a great local gym where the company I worked for subsidised the costs via a health initiative. I really had no excuse. I didn't want to be this big - I wanted to be able to have gorgeous clothes, shoes, lifestyle again...

It was about this time I started reading Craig Harpers website, and I saw that he was coming to Brisbane for a seminar - I had to go. I loved his blunt, in your face, style of writing - too many times I would read his posts and look over my shoulder, to see if he was in the room watching me!

I booked. I made flight and accommodation reservations and arranged sitters for the children. I started walking 6 kilometres each day, sometimes twice, a huge achievement for a lazy lard arse like me.
Ten days before the seminar,I rang a local personal trainer, and arranged a session with her... I did not want to be the only person in that seminar room that didn't have a PT!

Session day came and I survived the hourlong session... I was exhausted but it had been planned at a pace that suited my ability, I really enjoyed it. I made another appointment. And kept it....

Craig Harper had offered free personal training session prior to his seminar starting for all of the participants. So, there I am in barely fitting gym clothes, at 6 am the morning of the seminar, performing my very first push-up on the stairs at beautiful Southbank in Brisbane.  I was really pumped up at such a small personal victory! Running quickly back to the hotel, I got showered and changed and made it to the pre seminar breakfast in plenty of time to mix and mingle with other like minded people, or so I thought... 

Seeing all of the people at that seminar and realising that only 6 of them had bothered to show up to get a $150 session for FREE, told me something interesting.... And I spent the rest of the seminar listening and evaluating people's responses to questions.

There was a very large lady there taking up more than one seat in the very front row, who knew the calorific value of a kilo of carbs, a kilo of protein etc etc, I had no bloody clue... All I could think was, how the hell did that lady get so big, if she knows all of that...  I spent the next five minutes shrinking in my chair and hoping he would not ask me any of those questions, when I heard Craig say " you people are the queens of theory, I'm not sure about if you ever put it into practise though".. 

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.. Can he actually say that to a fat person?? DID he just say that to a fat person??
It was like a light bulb had gone on in my brain... Yep, we all know how to loose weight, we all know that we must burn more than we eat, yet we all make excuses why we don't!

I was guilty of this as well, I had used every excuse in the book why I couldn't loose weight when in actual fact I just wasn't prepared to do what I had to do to loose it.

I returned home with renewed vigour and an inner knowing that this time, was the last time I would ever need to loose weight. I would do it without any fad diets, protein shakes, diet pills, just clean eating and hard work.

Over these last years, I have been out of work, homeless, sick, injured, suffered a relationship breakdown, helped my son battle cancer, had my dad die and my son attempt suicide - and every one of these times has been a time where I have turned to the old Turkish Delight or ten for solace.
But I now know that I am an emotional eater, and I work hard to stop that. 

I have got to a point where I am sitting at around 77 to 80 kilos. I would love to be 72 kilos again and I will get there, but my weight loss has slowed to a more steady tightening loss these days, I have a plan to be at that weight by Christmas 2013. Most days I eat Paleo style nowadays, only because my body seems to work much more efficiently like that - and I feel better within when I do, but every now and again I have a treat or two, and just work harder that week in e gym to make up for it.. 

But no matter how much exercise I do, it is clear to me now that I will never be able to tighten that loose skin I accumulated after having my beautiful twin boys. It's horrible. It hangs over my knicker line and makes bulges in the clothes that are unsightly.. 
Sometimes it  continues to enjoy the beat of the gym music long after I have stopped dancing to it.. 
It bounces, it jiggles, and I hate it. 
It has to come off.... Now!

8 Days Pre Surgery

So, 9pm Sunday night, 7 days out from Surgery and my teenage kids are teaching me the finer points of how to make a blog - I'm not really sure why I want to make a blog about this whole ordeal, I'm usually a fairly private person about this, as I am very very self conscious about my spare skin... But here goes.

I have been told in the past by an ex fiancé - that I have enough spare skin I could make a human floor rug - so you can understand my reticence at public displays of (almost) nudity! Those words even still hurt me now, as I typed that sentence... Needless to say, that man was my "ex" very soon after that comment was made.

But, in saying all of that, I have found so little Australian web content on this procedure, that I wanted to share my experience with anyone considering the same surgery. I guess just to give an Aussie point of view, no bullshit, just a "warts and all" account of the surgery, and the emotions that go along with it. 

I am by no means a professional writer, nor blogger, so the posts in the coming weeks will be amateurish and with more than a couple of mistakes, forgive me, I'm not quite perfect.... But hopefully after a week or two, I will get the hang of this and this blog will provide some help to those looking for information about this procedure.

Next Monday morning, at 8am, I am checking myself into the Mater Hospital in Rockhampton to have a Full Body Lift. I will have my spare stomach skin removed, and the skin on my outer thighs will be lifted to meet the circumferential incision made to remove the skin above... I will be in hospital for 2 nights, and staying in Rocky for the next few nights until I am well enough to travel home... 370 kilometres. 

I anticipate I will have surgical drains for a few days, a million and one stitches and a gorgeous waist to ankle surgical corset which I am sure will be very flattering.

As lighthearted as I may sound, I am actually very nervous about the whole procedure. I am not sure if I have made the right decision or not, and a multitude of Ideas are running through my head. I'm not sleeping well, I'm finding myself waking up at 2 am each night thinking about the things that could go wrong, who would look after the children, who will help me if I need assistance for an extended period of time at home, will the gorgeous Hugo still love me with scars all around my middle? Will they heal flat? Am I exchanging one disfigurement for another?? Why after fifty years have I just discovered vanity? Will I ever be able to get back to exercise class that I'm fast becoming addicted to? Will my body get to like that laying around again and I'll become a lard arse once again? What if my "fluffy bits"end up on my chest???? 

Yep, all the usual things that run through your mind at times like this.

So, as a clever diversion to this, tomorrow, I'm off to Adelaide for the night. For dinner. Well, for a business meeting really but it sounds much more romantic if I say it's a quick trip for a rendezvous with my gorgeous partner Hugo. 

Off to pack... For Adelaide, in winter.... I shall delay thinking about hospital for another day or two. I hope....