Wednesday 28 August 2013

Week Three Post Op

Day 21 since the operation- I'm feeling about 80% I reckon.. Getting out of bed still hurts, getting in and out if some cars can be difficult... But on the whole I'm going pretty damn good.
Monday came this week and a quick trip to Rockvegas was in order. We had to collect a car, so I scheduled an appointment with the surgery nurse, just to let her check the healing process. She was happy overall with the healing, with only those two small spots giving her cause for concern. She decided to quickly excise the gunk that had healed over the wound, allowing the air to get in, and added some healing gel to speed up the process. 
Hugo was watching intently, knowing that he will be the one in control once we get home. He has done a great job, happy to get up each morning at 3.45 am to clean and change the dressings on the wound, and it's been a mammoth effort. Don't even think about this operation if you don't have the support of someone to assist with the constant dressing changes etc. the wound goes all the way around, so it is not a one person job!
Surgery Nurse took photos and will send to the surgeon, she seems to think there are a couple of spots that he may not be happy with, and may choose to redo at a later date. Although I'm not keen to undergo this whole process again anytime soon, I guess I can understand why he would want to complete the job properly.. I've decided to leave that decision till about Feb or March 2014, give the body time to recover from the latest ordeal.
I've been up and walking a fair bit this week, went out at 6.30am this morning, and although it still hurts to walk fast, I have no problem with walking far. I've missed it. Exercise is such a great way to increase the endorphin levels, and not being able to walk after such a long period of constant exercise, has been hard for me mentally. I understand I have to give my body the best chance to heal, but I feel like I have cabin fever.. Very restless and looking for a way out.
As if by magic, my friend Priscilla, sent a text inviting me to the Italian Restaurant last night for a catch up with the girls... It was great, glass of wine, a few laughs with the girls, and a gentle reminder that I need to do this more often. 
Being forced into almost complete inactivity of late has given me plenty of time to think, to plan and to mull over some life choices. The world as it stands now, is completely different than even two years ago, personally, professionally, financially. And I don't really think I could be happier. 
Years ago, I did away with the word "should", and I'm going to continue in that same vein. I will only do things that I want to do now, never anything that I feel I should. And the effects of that decision still flow today. Instantly I felt less stressed, less concerned about what people think, and more focused on what makes us happier as a family unit.
I am a very firm believer in making a list, and finding a way to achieve all on that list. Years ago, as a struggling single Mum with 5 kids, I wanted to end the year with no bills, and 5k in the bank. I did it.
The next year, I decided on a job that would earn me 80k, got that, so it went to 120k, 150k, 150k with a car for personal use, a phone, a laptop, great super, housing allowance. Got that too. Don't get me wrong, I worked damn hard to achieve all of that, but it was as simple to me as writing a list and working to get it. It was about keeping my eyes and ears open, pouncing on the opportunities when they arose. 
A few months ago, I realised that, all the money and the perks of the job, weren't cutting it. There was more that I wanted. The kids are old enough now and all have jobs, or after school work, so their need for cash from me was diminishing..and I needed more. I wrote another list. I wanted a work life balance, I wanted to have days off when Hugo did so we can share our time together, I wanted to be have time to get back to community based volunteering, I wanted less stress in my world and more joy. I wanted to wake every day safe in the knowledge that the people I helped each day, appreciated it, and didn't spend most of the day plotting my demise. 
 I realised when we were wandering about that beautiful architecture in Paris, that there is more to the world, and I wanted it. The peace, the serenity and to have time to cook, to nourish and to nurture my family. I loved the French way of life, of having downtime with the family in the middle of the day and time to enjoy good company and fresh food every evening.

So this week, I've been working on my list. 




Tuesday 20 August 2013

Two weeks Post Op

Had a great few days. I'm starting to be able to get out of bed much easier, walk straighter, rollover in bed, and get out of low chairs without assistance. I actually say thanks to myself every morning when I wake up, for spending the night healing itself. The body is an amazing machine. The last two weeks are starting to blur into experience, with the pain and uncertainty becoming a distant memory. It's kinda like childbirth, but without the night feeds.
When I initially had the Dr appointment with Dr Tristian, he said I would more than likely be able to return to work at about the two week mark... Let me assure you, there was no possible way that I could have returned to work on Monday. If you are thinking of having this operation, allow yourselves at least 3 to 4 weeks to heal comfortably.
Although I have no pain, the swelling is still considerable, subsiding, but still there. Unless I spend all day laying down, this swelling pools in my tummy and legs and by the end of the day, they are both distended and sore. So, to return to work, to walk, to sit, to climb multiple stairs, would have been out of the question for me at this stage. I'm definitely better with each day, but I think 3 weeks really is the minimum time I would allow before taking on the world again.
Hugo really happy with the spot that was taking its time to heal, we have been using medical grade honey and betadine, they have made a huge difference. Changing the dressings under the bathroom heat lamps also has seemed to help a lot, visibly drying the wound out as dressing were being changed. Doctor had suggested to sun the wounds, but as I said previously,I'm mighty shy about aiming my backside at the neighbours each morning. Heat globes work just as well for me.
Spoke to Surgeons nurse this morning. I mentioned that the compression suit that I am wearing has created a big line down the middle of my tummy, from my navel to my bust.. It's like I have a 4 inch vertical belly button. It has been like this since day one, and apparently it may stay like that now it has been like that for 15 days.. Not happy about that at all. Amanda said to try a binding garment, and will send one out via express post today, hopefully that will arrive tomorrow. And fingers crossed that we are able to flatten out this line before it becomes a permanent fixture.
Weighed this morning, I have lost almost 6 kilos since I came home, which is great, but my waist is still 10 cm larger than when I went into hospital.. Hips are much smaller, but waist is not. I tried some pants on this morning which I had bought on special, prior to operation, and they fit beautifully around the backside and hips, but will not fit my waist.... I'm still a size 14 as yet- even though I am visibly smaller. GRRRRRRRRR.
Hugo's mum and dad have arrived from Victoria for a few days in the sun.. Weather is just superb, warm days and cool nights, it's my favourite time of the year, and I love sharing it with them.
They have been a godsend, as Garth takes me down the shops, and Anne potters about getting dinner cooked and sweeping etc, I wonder how long I can string this out.
Yesterday afternoon I got a visit from a lovely friend of mine from years ago, and in my excitement to see her, I slipped in my TED stockings and fell on the stairs. Thankfully didn't hurt any of the wound, but I have yet more bruises to add to the existing ones. Theoretically, I could remove the stockings today, but I can still feel the fluid buildup in my legs by days end if I don't wear them. Decided I would keep them on another week just in case. Turns out it was more dangerous to keep them on.
Gorgeous photo of yet another bruise I've collected... 




Saturday 17 August 2013

Day 11/12 Post Op

Well the day has come for Hugo to return to work, and with the kids at school each day, I am now here on my own.
I wake at 4am for Hugo to check the infection site, and join him for breakfast before he goes to work. Then straight back to bed! Wake again when the kids wake at 7am.

Very excited that I can now roll over in bed... It's an almighty effort, and damn uncomfortable as my compression suit has clips and zippers right down each side, but I do it, because I can, and because it gives my back a rest after all this time. It's a small feat, but one that indicates I am getting stronger each day. Yay.

Bruising is out everywhere, but turning that beautiful dirty yellow, just a few tinges of purple sprinkled amongst. The wound is looking 90% fab.. With just a little sneaky bit on one hip giving me trouble. It is getting dressed with medical grade honey, and I'm using panty liners to draw the fluid out. Not surprisingly, they are working very efficiently. Who knew? 

I'm planning on taking my week two photos tomorrow when Hugo is home, the change of my shape is starting to take place, I actually looked at myself in the mirror again today.. Not looking too bad for just two weeks out. Long way to go, but it's getting there.

Today also means I am home by myself, all day. No ability to zip down the shops, or walk to the park, or meet a friend for a coffee. I don't like it. All the years of having children, of working full time, has made me feel uneasy when in my own company, I feel like a fish out of water. I never just have the time to lay down, to sit, do nothing. I'm bored-  Boredom to me usually means," hey, let's see how much chocolate can be consumed in one sitting" but that is not going to happen. I have to find something else that will amuse the mind without extending the waist.  But, Cate helped out at a cotton growers dinner last night, so there is a pavlova in the fridge that wasn't there when I went to bed. Arrrrrgggghhhhh.

I read books, I go on Facebook, I download ebooks from my library, I web search buying a laser levelling kit, I message Hugo multiple times to complain how bored I am, i shower, wash my hair, walk round to Andrea's for a cup of tea, I lay down as I'm told, I see clothes that need to be sorted, i see cobwebs, and windows that need cleaning and gecko shit...... Why couldn't I have noticed this stuff a fortnight ago. Bloody gecko's. Who invited them to the ark?

It's night. Hugo will be home soon. It's still just me and the pav. One of us is shrinking. And the other needs to walk tomorrow! 


Thursday 15 August 2013

Day 9/10 Post Op

Another beautiful day in Qld, 31 Tuesday, 33 yesterday.
Gorgeous, warm,sunny, almost summer like weather. Just picture it, here i am, off work, not allowed to do any strenuous activity, the weather is just perfect for working on my tan- getting a jumpstart on everyone before summer comes. How lucky am I? Yep, if it wasn't for the thick, neck to knee compression suit with matching knee hi stockings, I could probably really get to like this weather.. It was a conscious decision to have the surgery soon after returning from Paris, not because I had any money left over, but because the weather would still be cool enough to survive 6 weeks in this getup before summer hit.. Pffftttt. Ain't gonna happen. Already my inner thigh is growing something magical, due to the warmer weather and the thickness of this suit and so off to the local GP for some assistance this morning.
There are a number of queries for the GP this morning, I awoke to a small stain on the back hip  of my suit this morning, along the incision line, so it needs to be checked ASAP.
The fabulous nurse at my local Dr could get me an appointment straight up, and the Dr took a swab, gave me pain killers to take, more antibiotics and some cream for my leg. Hopefully it is just a slight infection and not the beginning of a seroma. A seroma is a pocket of fluid which gets left inside after liposuction and may need to be aspirated if not settled quickly. Yuk.
I had a phone consultation with QPS, Queensland Plastic Surgery yesterday, I was concerned about the swelling in my waist each day- apparently I am sitting up way too much. I thought that walking and being upright and mobile was good to minimise blood clots... Turns out that this activity was supposed to be in between periods of laying flat! Grrrr, I hate that. It means I am stuck away in the bedroom whilst all the action takes place in the living areas... How am I going to tell the kids how to cook properly from there???  :)
Cate, being her ever thoughtful self, dragged single bed mattresses up the stairs and into the dining room, and proceeded to make me a "little nest". Great idea, I'm much happier when everyone can sit around and talk to me. I still feel part of the action. I'm sure they love it too...
I made some before and after one week photos today, surprised myself at how easy it was to use an app Cate had downloaded for the purpose- I'm not going to share those just yet- still a bit raw and ugly, but it will make a good reference for me in the future. It did actually buoy my confidence a bit, I have been having trouble with lots of swelling, so to see the difference in a week, made me feel better about it. It is going to be a long road.
For anyone reading this thinking that this option is a fast and easy way of loosing weight, think again.. I measured before I went into hospital and again after a week, not even close to being back to those figures yet. This swelling may take up to 3 to 6 months to subside, but it will all be worth it in the end.
My waist can be up to 10cm larger at the end of the day, than before I had surgery. My hips are already 9 cm smaller, but no other part is smaller, all 5 to 7 cm larger than Pre surgery. I am still not back to Pre surgery weight yet, and it's day ten!.
Oh, one thing I keep forgetting to tell you, and some of you have asked, my fluffies did NOT end up on my chest as I was worried about prior to surgery. Phew... Although situated there would have been easier to sun them each day, as I have to, to assist with the wound healing.. Bloody hell, I hope no one in my street reads this blog... Or perhaps it may help to explain the strange lady that stands with her big stripey knickers against the window early each morning for ten minutes, before heading out to a sunny spot in the deck out the back to hitch up the front of her skirt?? I pray each day that most people have gone to work before I start this daily routine, and those that don't work are making coffee and watching Kochie... I hope!
Hugo home early from work today, and is working from the dining room table.. Growling because I have sat up to write this blog, when I should be laying down.
So, it's back to my nest. Kids will be home soon. Yay!






 



Tuesday 13 August 2013

Day 7/8 Post Op

Had a terrible night sleep. Each time I lay down, I felt like I had something caught in my throat and of course the cough reflex would start. I have had 5 children all naturally, but nothing compared to the agony of coughing when it felt like my belly button was about to launch itself to the right. 
I couldn't get comfortable, I wandered about all night dragging a pillow to use to protect my stomach from coughing, feeling like Linus with his blankie. 
It's times like this that the dark thoughts creep in, why on earth did I let myself get to a point where surgical intervention was my only option? I sat in a chair, leant over the kitchen bench, sat on the side of the bed, and eventually through sheer exhaustion, made myself a nest of pillows against the window and slept sitting upright.
I am angry at myself for not being further advanced. Hugo goes back to work in a day or two and I am still needing help to get out of bed! I will be here on my own, Thursday, Friday, Saturday now, as the kids are taking part in the Relay for Life this weekend, and I am actually very nervous about being here alone. I have to get moving. I have to be more independent by then. I have 3 days to create a marked improvement.
Overall, I had a very black day, I was pessimistic, grumpy and just pissed off with everything. I had read that there is such a thing as post surgery depression, if this is it, it better not hang around, I've not the time for dealing with it.
I made a batch of choc muffins for the kids for afternoon tea, as a small gesture of thanks for their help in the last few days. I can't stand long enough to make them from scratch, so White Wings packet mix it was. 
I had also offered to find 10 helpers for a Rainbow House Event, but I haven't had a clear enough head to deal with this, so Cate has been rallying the kids at school to ensure that Rainbow House are well looked after this weekend. 

Went to bed soon after dinner, as I was wilted.. Drained physically and emotionally.

On Day 8, I awoke feeling much better. I slept really well sitting upright in my nest, I was able to get out of bed twice on my own, and not once did my belly button feel like the launch of Apollo 13! I decided I was going to shower, and get dressed into nice clothes, go to the local cafe for a coffee this morning. Just to get out of the house. Hugo was more than happy to take time out of his work schedule for this. 

I weighed myself again this morning, more fluid gain, which is what I was expecting really, my thighs and tummy are enormous. Bruising is coming out and making gorgeous technicolor splashes across my back and tummy. I actually looked at myself in the mirror this morning. I'm not thin, or flat, or smooth, and I would be horribly disappointed if this is the way it all stays, but at least I have no flabby overhang anymore. The surgeon had to make a big incision from my belly button to my scar, to cut out more skin, as there was just so much, he wanted to ensure that he did all he could to make sure it was flat. It's a long red ugly unexpected line that hurts more than the circumferential incision. 

I had a shower this morning, and it was fantastic. Even just to be able to soothe all the itchy spots, to give all the skin a hard rub with a washer, felt great. My incisions are tingling, which apparently means the nerve endings are starting to heal, so thats good news. Hugo dried my incision tape with the hair dryer and seems to think that all is looking pretty good, no red angry patches today. Couple of photos today to record the end of a very long week. 

Sunday 11 August 2013

Day 6 Post Surgery

Woke a couple of times during the night attempting to complete the "blanket follow roll", which stems from sharing the bed with a blanket stealer.  My Mind is so well trained, it usually tells the body to just follow the blankets, but last night the body advised strongly against it. I even woke Hugo with my screaming.. Oops. I did manage to lay on my left side last night for about an hour, which is my small achievement of the day.

So, it's day 6 post op, and I'm feeling brave enough to get on the scales for the first time. The Dr told me that they removed 4 kilos of skin and more than 2 litres of liquid ( presumably fat, but its also highly possible to have been melted chocolate, but lets just go with "liquid" for today), understandably, I am expecting a pretty large loss. I am still very swollen and retaining a lot of fluid, but still, its a simple maths equation, isn't it? 
Here goes... i was 79.2 kgs on my scales the day prior to my surgery, ( they are 3 kg heavier than the Dr's scales) so I'm thinking I will be about 76-75 kgs today. Balanced on the scales only to discover that my relationship with gravity today is stronger than ever- I have put on 200g!!!
Bugger! Dr told me that the swelling will take more than 6 weeks to subside, but my mathematical brain did not want to admit that. 79.2 minus 6 equals 79.4??? Pfffftttt.

Pouting, I got off the scales and set about getting prepared for dressing change day.

Hugo had been shown how to peel off the dressing tape, sun the wound for ten minutes each side, re-paint with Betadine and re-tape. The tip I have for you today, is to complete this procedure soon after pain killing medication is taken, as it is not as easy as it sounds. Once dressing change is complete, it's back on with the TED stockings and bodysuit. I will keep the stockings on for at least 2 weeks, to minimise the risk of blood clots, and the gorgeous bust to knee bodysuit will be in place for 6 weeks. The purpose if this is to keep everything compressed, assist with the fluid drainage and will assist to keep a smooth shape after the liposuction. I do feel very unsupported without it now, and dressing change times are difficult because of the extra strain placed on core muscles when standing up without the compression garment.

I will upload some photos later tonight, the bruising is coming out now, the swelling is quite pronounced and all in all, it looks bloody awful. There are a couple of small spots along my back that are still bleeding, and starting to look a little angry, my new belly button is swelling and is very tight. All of these things are normal, but annoying just the same.

I finish the day feeling quite deflated, I'm disappointed with the weight gain, with the way the scar in my front is swelling in two separate places, and the fact that there are a couple of spots along my back scar that are starting to become inflamed...

Off to bed to sulk.




Saturday 10 August 2013

Day 5 Post Op

Woke up feeling fantastic!

I was able to get out of bed once last night without Hugo's help, I was so excited, I woke him anyway to tell him.. I may have looked like Franklin the turtle stuck on his back, but I am now one step closer to regaining independence.

I peeled my gear off and stepped into the shower for the first time since Monday. How great does that water feel? Washed my hair and my confidence immediately soared 50%.

Hugo dressed my blisters, noting one has become quite nasty - might need to keep an eye on that one. The scar itself is healing well, and is clean. We dried it off well with the hair dryer, and dressed in fresh clothes. I may not look a million dollars in my trackie daks and tshirt, but I am feeling it today.

My eldest son Jim had come to visit yesterday and ended up staying at the same motel as us, so we got to spend lots of time with him, and he met us for breakfast. Stella Rossi was a great choice for  this morning, right next door to motel, and in the middle of a Harley Davidson store, so I was feeling much more comfortable there than hanging out at the hospital. Very cool store for those of you in Rockhampton. Coffee was great, hit the spot and just what I needed before the long journey home. I'm not looking forward to the drive, the Cap Highway not known for its smooth surface. With stitches right round my circumference, I can feel every bump.

Said our goodbyes to Jim and turned the car west. We have to stop each 40 mins, to stretch, and walk a little way... Hmmm these 320 k's are going to take forever..  Once again, Hugo was very patient with my "passenger seat driving", but I'm sure my suggestions were all very helpful.
Arrived home safely, after almost being impaled on the bonnet of a Victorian's falcon, on the roundabout just near home. Bloody Victorians!

Pulling into the drive, I looked up at the McMansion's back deck stairs, was I gonna get up those? Now? 
Taking a big breath, i went up one step, then another, then another... Hey, I reckon I can do this! I know it seems like such a small achievement, but I'm so pleased with myself. Lol, it's the little things.

It was so good to see the kids, they gave me a big hug, and I have made myself comfortable on the back deck to catch up in the past few days with them. Chuck tells me how amused he has been with the photos Hugo has sent of me unwell in hospital, Cate is pleased I didn't make a mess of her jama's.. Yep, nothing's changed here.. 

2 kids parties happening in the park next door, so no chance of getting a rest, so I may just go for a "smell the roses" stroll to pass some time.

Drinking a lot of green tea which is helping with the swelling, I haven't really been feeling like coffee since surgery, and one a day seems to be keeping me happy.( and that's no mean feat!)

Soup for dinner, sponge bath, and bed.. 
I'm "zorsted"...




Friday 9 August 2013

Day 4 Post Op

Woke up this morning almost able to stand up straight! Yay!
Feeling pretty proud of myself- still can't get up from a laying position without Hugo's help, but aside from that I'm going okay. I was able to get changed, give myself a sponge bath and put on my shoes all by myself this morning. Funny how its those little things that make all the difference in times like this- having someone that's willing to pick up the toothpaste I dropped, or rub cream into my ever itchy, swollen calves at night.. Hugo has been an absolute godsend for me. Although, this morning i discovered, right outside our motel room door, is a fold away bed...Perhaps I better shut up today, I might be sleeping in the car park tonight if I continue to whinge. Lol.
I have been surviving on fruit and cuppa soup since out of hospital, for no other reason than I'm really not very hungry. I still have to wear a very tight body suit for the next 6 weeks, so I'm not too keen on expanding my stomach much when wearing it, it's hard enough to breathe! It will compress the skin and scar so hopefully it will all heal flat. 
My eldest son is coming to visit today, he has business in Rocky, so will call in on the way. He dropped into home yesterday to catch up with the kids, sent me a great text message saying " arrived at home safe, house is still in one piece, in case you've been worried" lol.. He must have read my mind.
I've been getting some great messages of support from friends on Facebook, this was supposed to be a personal journey, and then my morphine mind decided to upload a selfie during the night Monday... Hmmm not really a secret now hey? Let me tell you though, I don't look fabulous today but I do look 1000 times better than that photo! 
Here's me in Cate's pj's, almost up straight- day 4.


Thursday 8 August 2013

Day 3 Post Op

Woke a couple of times in the night, but mainly because I had slept late yesterday afternoon. I was comfortable and happy to lay dozing till 8 am ish.
Appointment with Post Op nurse today at 11 am, but I'm feeling much better, and not really very sore. It hurts to walk, but we have been making small journeys to the front of the motel driveway and back, scaring as many kids as I can with my final drain bag full of blood... With a bit of luck it will be coming out today, and I will be able to walk around without looking like an acting extra from Twilight.
Had the dressings changed, all cleaned and adhesive dressings removed. The adhesive had started to react with my skin, and I have a number of blisters developing from that. Turns out I have no external sutures, so all are internal and will dissolve on their own within 60 to 90 days. Hugo got run through the procedure of tape changing and wound cleaning- it hadn't  occurred to either of us that there will be a requirement for that to happen.. Lucky he's a capable can- do kinda bloke.
I can stand much straighter today, although sitting in the one position for the last two hours has stiffened the back muscles a bit.. Must try to move more often. 
Beautiful day here in Rocky, and I'm loving sitting with the afternoon sun streaming through the window, writing this blog.

Day 2 Post Op

Still laying on my back!
Grrrrr, get me outta here! I'm getting really peeved at just being left to lay here, waiting for a decision to be made. 
3 of my drains are gone, none were producing anything anyway, so that's good news.
Locum Dr comes by and I convince him I feel great, I tell him I have cabin fever and need to get out if bed. He agrees.
My catheter comes out, the leg compression machine is turned off, Hugo arrives to visit and eventually he goes to find a nurse to help me get upright.
Standing up was hard work, thankfully there were 3 people there to assist, I shuffled a whole 5 metres to the bathroom chair and sat down to bathe. 
Less than 2 hours later, Hugo and I were shuffling our way to the front door of the hospital, via the pharmacy for multiple boxes of pain relief. We had escaped. Lol
Hugo made me a chair bed up almost in the winter sun, and it felt beautiful. I slept sitting up for hours whilst he worked and kept watch.
Pain tablets were making me itchy, and I was struggling with having to itch, or wince..
A pillow under my knees in bed made all the difference and I slept for hours. 
This was as straight as I could get today.

Day 1 Post Op

After having half hourly obs taken All night, I am exhausted. I just want to get off my back and move around, I'm stiff, my heels are developing pressure sores, i still had the catheter inserted, I'm tired, uncomfortable and in pain.
I had been using a self administered morphine drip, which was going well, I could use it up to 5 times an hour, but I was only using once or twice per hour.
It was removed at 9 am because my blood pressure continued to drop, I felt fine, I seemed like I had colour in my cheeks, but by 10am Dr was calling for blood tests to be run.
Results came back that my haemaglobin levels were way too low, so I was prepped for a blood transfusion.
Nursing staff were concerned that I would faint if I got out of bed, so another 24 hours laying on my back.
I couldn't get comfortable, my back was swollen and bleeding,my bum was sore from laying on it, my legs were tired of being in compression socks, I was over it, big time! 
Hugo messaged and said he would be late coming in, he had some business to do before coming, I cried. I just wanted to get out of bed and sit in a chair. Or walk. Or shower. Or anything to get me off laying on my tailbone. I'm not good at being a patient, or dependant.. 
Two bags of blood went up, and still my blood pressure didn't come up much, perhaps I just have low blood pressure anyway.
The operation took away at least 4 kilos of skin, and 2 litres of liposuctioned fat. Wow, 4 kilos of skin, that is enough to make a travel bag!! 
Here's a photo of me looking gorgeous in my tshirt nightie, which I didn't think was going to be useful, but it turned out to be the most comfortable. Easy stretch sleeves to go over canula's, light weight and stretch fabric, easy to sleep in. Not very attractive, but a $5 bargain from Best n Less, and worth very cent.

Operation


Oh my goodness... What an ordeal.
We rolled up at the hospital admissions at 8.30am and we started the admissions process at 11am. Hugo by this time was starving, lol, especially being the only person in the room that was actually allowed to eat. But, he persevered, and waited the whole time with me.
We were seated in the waiting area with some people that I knew from D Town, so that passed the time a little.
All gowned up and gorgeous, after my betadine shower, we finally go through to Pre op to meet Dr Tristian. He went through all the things that were going to happen, his expectations of surgery and post operatively. He then took out his markers and preceded to mark all the skin, ready for removal.
I hopped onto the hospital trolley, and waited. Out of nowhere came the tears, here I was about to embark on a huge operation, electively.. I was very nervous. 
Theatre staff were fantastic, holding my hand and comforting me as we waited on the doctors.
Oxygen mask, small prick in the hand and out I went.
Woke up freezing 9 hours later, I couldn't get warm. The nurses were piling the blankets and warm towels on me, and I continued to shiver.
I woke with a compression garment on already, which was very tight, and restricted a lot of movement. 
Didn't sleep well at all, between being cold and having half hourly obs all night, there was no chance of sleeping.
Attempted a selfie photo at 2 am, after successfully taking three photos of the toilet door,I finally worked out that I had the camera facing the wrong way. I looked as bad as I felt. I was sore, and overtired and lonely and cold.
Sook!

Monday 5 August 2013

Surgery Day

Well, the day is finally here.

I woke early as usual, and I'm surprisingly calm. Make a cup of black tea which I'm allowed prior to 7am. 

Hugo is still asleep, well attempting to be, considering I have so far, overfilled the kettle in the dark and burned my hand when it boiled, bumped the bag of oranges off the bench when mopping up the spilt water, knocked the stainless steel toilet roll holder off into the tiles in the bathroom, and I'm now happily tapping away on the iPad.. He has his head under the blanket, in some kind of attempt to block the noise.. Lol..I know how he feels!

Yesterday, I put a photo upon Facebook that shows 3 photos and how far I've come in the journey. I've got over 100 likes on it, Chuck would be so jealous... Given the fact he is sure he is the only FB famous person in our house.. I have a secret desire to beat him, I may take the opportunity in the next few days to have a genuine attempt at it.
 
I'm going to message the kids soon, just to tell them that I love them and that I'm feeling upbeat and excited, sure it's all going to work out fine.

Hugo took before photos yesterday, in just my lingerie, OMG.. Horrendous. I can't look at them, and will get them off my phone as soon as I can.. I apologised to him for him having to look at that skin for these last few years... When I'm brave, I'll upload a couple... Maybe.

I'm hoping to have progress updates in the nest few days, so you may see a few posts a day, or perhaps none for a day or two.

I'm off to the hospital this morning at 8.30.

Here it goes..... Wish me luck.

1 day Pre Surgery

It's Sunday..
Day before surgery. 
Up early to get payroll and superannuation paid, all end of month invoicing completed, and final things organised at home.
My walking partner called by to wish me luck this morning, and promised to keep a close eye on the kids for me while I'm away.
Kissed my beautiful kids that are still at home and headed off for the 370 kilometre trip to Rockhampton.. 

How am I feeling? Bloody terrible. 
The tears could fall at any moment, I'm very emotional and driving out of the driveway with Cate and Chuck waving madly and blowing kisses was very difficult. Hugo just holds my hand as we drive away, saying nothing.. but saying everything with that one gesture.
He assures me that by this time next week I will be feeling fantastic, and I'm sure I will be too... I just gotta get there. 

But, as I have mentioned earlier in this blog, I am an avid fan of Craig Harper, and I can hear his words echoing in my head... "Suck it up, princess", so lets just get on with it.

I did think of something else that I need to pack - safety pins to pin the drains to my clothes so I don't have to carry them, I can almost tuck them in - hey look! Hands Free Drain Ports! Lol. 

Arrived safely in Rockhampton and checked into hotel. Drove down to the coast, walked along the beach front and windowshopped for a while, headed back to town for dinner. It was just on sunset, breeze was blowing, wood fired pizzas cooking at the pub over the road, great night for a walk with great company.

Finished unpacking the car and headed for bed, catch an early night.. Hugo is asleep before me, but surprisingly, I can settle down and sleep, without too much worry.

Saturday 3 August 2013

2 days Pre Surgery


Collected Hugo from the airport and immediately felt much calmer.. I feel like I am a big red helium ballon that manages to twist themselves loose, and floats away... Till he arrives home and collects me, plucks me from the chaos and plants me back on terra firma once again..

Cate has been busy constructing a photo of me in three stages. From right to left 17 years ago, over 140 kilos, 6 years ago, at about 125 kilos, last week at about 79 kilos..

I'm getting there... Slowly.. 

Friday 2 August 2013

3 Days Pre Surgery

And so it begins, the logistics of this surgery, the packing, the organisation, the reality of it all.. It's come crashing down on me today, emotionally. I've spent all week trying to avoid this, not the physical work that's involved, but the emotional reality of the impending surgery. I am healthy, fit, able to run up stairs, and exercise, and ride a bike, and do everything that I need and want to do. Nothing hurts, i have no ills, no ailments, take no medication and i'm as healthy as a horse.
In three days it will hurt to just to laugh. 
I read recently, where there are so many more things worse than being fat, like being mean, or selfish, or jealous, or nasty... I'm just fat. I'm a nice enough person, I help people whenever I can, I'm kind, and generous, but I have a recently acquired obsession with removing a spare tyre of loose skin that I earned having my beautiful children.. Why?
So many "what if's" going on in my head. Even though I am 50, I still have 3 kids under 18 that depend on me for support, and I am cross with myself that I have allowed the "human floor rug" comment get into my head and eat away at me to such a point that I am risking a bloody 8 hour surgery, just for vanity.. Grrrrrr.
But, it's all booked and organised now, so I guess the only thing left to do is suck it up and get at it... 

I ended the day exhausted, I have gymmed, walked, weeded, washed, cleaned and cooked for 14 hours today and I'm tired. I have had an hour long phone calls with my son Richard, who is struggling being so far away from the family, and is worried about the possible after effects of my surgery. He has always been my sensitive one, he is living with my mother in southern NSW and is starting to feel very isolated.. I'm also struggling with my parental obligations in regard to him, I should be going to scoop him up and bring him home to me, not heading to Rocky to improve my body shape! It's all just an emotional roller coaster today.

I'm going to try to find some old photos for tomorrow's upload, to see where I started and to remind me how far I've come. I am almost brave enough to upload some before photos of the floor rug, in an attempt to rid myself of the shame I feel every time I have to look at myself in a mirror. Or perhaps just to scare you all into never eating crap again in your life! I guess maybe they might even encourage others to take a look, and think "hey, I can do that".. Here's hoping.

On a more serious note, I have started to pack today, and have got a list of things important for this kind of op.. I think..
Slip on shoes, slippers, remembering I won't be able to bend.
Easy to wear p.j's, like a big night shirt, buttoning up at the front so the nurses will have no problems, and possibly because I may not be able to lift up my arms just yet
Baby wipes, I'm guessing I won't be showering anytime soon, given the fact I will be bound up like a Xmas turkey.
I've also packed those little strips of mouthwash that dissolve on your tongue. 
I've packed audio books called Playaways, that I have borrowed from my local library, that are like small MP3 players that contain just one book, and have headphones. Spare batteries.
I'm also in the process of hatching an addiction to borrowbox, which is an online ebook library that has heaps of great books to read, for free! Downloaded about 5 books, all primed and ready to read.
Paw paw ointment because its magic, and at our house we use it for everything, from lip balm, to hair gel, to moisturiser... 
Then all the usual toiletries, in smaller sizes or travel packs. 

I'm pretty good at minimalistic packing, although the dressing gown that I've borrowed from Chuck takes up most of my bag, but other than this beautiful pink fluffy gown ( don't ask me why it belongs to Chuck, there is always a story associated to anything he does..), I've packed 3 sets of pj's, trackie daks and an oversized t-shirt, with a zip up the front jumper.. 
I'm wearing another pair of track pants, and jumper to the hospital, and a scarf I bought in Paris, just to remind me of good times.. As Hugo says, what you don't have, we'll buy, no big deal. I'll let you know if I think of something incredibly useful that I forgot to pack.

Thursday 1 August 2013

4 Days Pre Surgery

Well guys, you should be proud of me... Today I actually made an advancement into organising myself for surgery... Yep, you guessed it, I had a manicure..

Now before you all go.. Pffftttt WTF? I need to remind you that having no nails polished is a Pre-req for surgery, so I can state with a totally clear conscious, that today, 4 days prior to surgery, I started to prepare myself. I also asked a nursing friend what they thought would be useful for hospital attire.. Hmmm trackies and a oversized t shirt was not quite the advice this fashionista was looking for.But Im sure I am now well on my way to be ready for Monday. Oh and I wrote "pack coffee machine" on an ever increasing To Do List. 

Yep, I'm on a roll. Don't panic, I got this. 

Hugo is off to Melbourne for a few days, this afternoon, (remind me to take him to the airport will you?) Cate is babysitting tonight and has to sleepover and good ole Chuck is volunteering his time to be a backstage helper at the school musical..  So, Looks like its just me and the Internet later this evening.. Or Perhaps I could run a bath, and give myself a long overdue facial to match the beautifully manicured hands and toadies. Hmmm, I have sprayed the oven with cleaner, so in reality it looks like it's a good time to fill my lungs with noxious chemicals whilst no one else is around to witness the dry-retching.. Or wash the floors without the usual "oops mum, sorry about that, I just need a quick drink, bite to eat, visit to the bin, wrestle with the sibling" dance across my newly washed floor. 

I have my last X Cross Combat class tonight at 6pm, alone, as Cate will not be there to punch me or laugh uncontrollably at my very earnest attempts at "dancing like a butterfly and stinging like a bee". A girlfriend asked me today why I am still bothering to go to gym classes three times a week, along with walking every morning and bike sessions on the alternative gym days.. "Why bother when you'll have it all cut off next week?"

Hmmm, now that got me thinking.. I think I have finally, after all of these years of dieting and sweating sparkles, grown to like exercise.. It's my "out". My time away from work and home responsibilities, time to feel like I have achieved something. I read recently that all the good things in life make you sweat.. I actually really like it. Now, anyone that has  known me in my prior "lets get into mischief" life, will be as surprised as I am by this. I feel it's a very momentous and joyous occasion. Its finally dawned on me that I have finally got my head in that healthy space, where I enjoy exercise, I have worked out how my body functions better eating the right fuel, and I'm feeling great.

So, to answer your question Andrea, it's because I like it. A lot.

I also ran into an acquaintance from my old home town recently, who enveloped me in a huge hug, and told me I was half the size of the person I used to be. Till now I have never had a vain bone in my body, but I gotta tell you, I feel very proud of how far I've come when I hear someone say things like that.

As I have said before, I am usually a really private person and would never have considered, 6 months ago, that I would stand in the local nail bar telling the lovely size 6 manicurist, that I am about to have my spare tyre cut off.. She was lovely about it, and told me a story about her friend that had had it done and now feels fantastic. Then the very overweight lady beside me goes on to tell me about all the horror stories she had heard.. I looked at her, smiled and said " your eyes are a very beautiful shade of green" - I wonder if she realised what I meant, laying there slurping on her choc thick shake, oozing negativity.

But, as you know, I'm a people watcher, and I have almost turned this lead-up to surgery into an experiment, listening to the responses from my friends when I tell them what I am having done. I try and guess what their reactions will be, before I tell them, unfortunately I seem to get most of them correct. My Hugo would just tell me "there is a word for people like that, Wend, "bubblebursters" and you should pay them no mind".. Wise man, my Hugo. ( and gorgeous, to boot...)

Well the time has come to head to X Combat, for the last time for a month or two... Gonna give it all I've got.. 

Might be late tomorrow, it's housework day!!! There will be a final flurry of dusting and washing and cleaning at the McMansion, if you don't hear from me, look under the pile of washing I found in Cates room.. Please?

Footnote: survived my last session of combat for 6 weeks-that bloody plank twist manoeuvre on one leg bloody hurts- I will not be sad to miss that in the weeks to come.