Sunday, 28 July 2013

About Me

This blog is being created for my own personal use, I guess, as a cathartic way of making my way through the next few months. So let me quickly give you some background on how I got to be here.

In the last 8 or so years, I've lost close on 60 kilos through determination and hard work. I would love to be able to say that it was easy, but it wasn't. I hate pain, I hate sweat, but I worked out that this weight that I had was not going anywhere until I burned it off, kilo by hot, sweaty, uncomfortable kilo.

For years prior, My brain had convinced my body that I couldn't loose weight.. When in actual fact, I was just bloody lazy. 

I was a single mum of 5 gorgeous kids, working long hours and struggling to make ends meet. We ate cheap food that was quick to prepare, and although the children never went hungry, we certainly were not eating wholesome nutritious food.

I loved a glass of wine of an evening, along with the cheese and biscuits that accompanied it. I was lonely, and attended every social event in the small town where I lived. 

This lifestyle, although much fun ( perhaps i should be blogging about that mischief instead, it would make more exciting reading!!)  was not good for my weight issues  I was more than 137 kilos at my highest weight! Something had to give! 

I knew I had to loose weight, and I tried lots ofttimes, but I was never very dedicated, nor excited about it... And too damn easily distracted by the offer of a free wine or two at the local art exhibition!
The town I lived in had a great local gym where the company I worked for subsidised the costs via a health initiative. I really had no excuse. I didn't want to be this big - I wanted to be able to have gorgeous clothes, shoes, lifestyle again...

It was about this time I started reading Craig Harpers website, and I saw that he was coming to Brisbane for a seminar - I had to go. I loved his blunt, in your face, style of writing - too many times I would read his posts and look over my shoulder, to see if he was in the room watching me!

I booked. I made flight and accommodation reservations and arranged sitters for the children. I started walking 6 kilometres each day, sometimes twice, a huge achievement for a lazy lard arse like me.
Ten days before the seminar,I rang a local personal trainer, and arranged a session with her... I did not want to be the only person in that seminar room that didn't have a PT!

Session day came and I survived the hourlong session... I was exhausted but it had been planned at a pace that suited my ability, I really enjoyed it. I made another appointment. And kept it....

Craig Harper had offered free personal training session prior to his seminar starting for all of the participants. So, there I am in barely fitting gym clothes, at 6 am the morning of the seminar, performing my very first push-up on the stairs at beautiful Southbank in Brisbane.  I was really pumped up at such a small personal victory! Running quickly back to the hotel, I got showered and changed and made it to the pre seminar breakfast in plenty of time to mix and mingle with other like minded people, or so I thought... 

Seeing all of the people at that seminar and realising that only 6 of them had bothered to show up to get a $150 session for FREE, told me something interesting.... And I spent the rest of the seminar listening and evaluating people's responses to questions.

There was a very large lady there taking up more than one seat in the very front row, who knew the calorific value of a kilo of carbs, a kilo of protein etc etc, I had no bloody clue... All I could think was, how the hell did that lady get so big, if she knows all of that...  I spent the next five minutes shrinking in my chair and hoping he would not ask me any of those questions, when I heard Craig say " you people are the queens of theory, I'm not sure about if you ever put it into practise though".. 

I couldn't believe what I had just heard.. Can he actually say that to a fat person?? DID he just say that to a fat person??
It was like a light bulb had gone on in my brain... Yep, we all know how to loose weight, we all know that we must burn more than we eat, yet we all make excuses why we don't!

I was guilty of this as well, I had used every excuse in the book why I couldn't loose weight when in actual fact I just wasn't prepared to do what I had to do to loose it.

I returned home with renewed vigour and an inner knowing that this time, was the last time I would ever need to loose weight. I would do it without any fad diets, protein shakes, diet pills, just clean eating and hard work.

Over these last years, I have been out of work, homeless, sick, injured, suffered a relationship breakdown, helped my son battle cancer, had my dad die and my son attempt suicide - and every one of these times has been a time where I have turned to the old Turkish Delight or ten for solace.
But I now know that I am an emotional eater, and I work hard to stop that. 

I have got to a point where I am sitting at around 77 to 80 kilos. I would love to be 72 kilos again and I will get there, but my weight loss has slowed to a more steady tightening loss these days, I have a plan to be at that weight by Christmas 2013. Most days I eat Paleo style nowadays, only because my body seems to work much more efficiently like that - and I feel better within when I do, but every now and again I have a treat or two, and just work harder that week in e gym to make up for it.. 

But no matter how much exercise I do, it is clear to me now that I will never be able to tighten that loose skin I accumulated after having my beautiful twin boys. It's horrible. It hangs over my knicker line and makes bulges in the clothes that are unsightly.. 
Sometimes it  continues to enjoy the beat of the gym music long after I have stopped dancing to it.. 
It bounces, it jiggles, and I hate it. 
It has to come off.... Now!

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