Monday came this week and a quick trip to Rockvegas was in order. We had to collect a car, so I scheduled an appointment with the surgery nurse, just to let her check the healing process. She was happy overall with the healing, with only those two small spots giving her cause for concern. She decided to quickly excise the gunk that had healed over the wound, allowing the air to get in, and added some healing gel to speed up the process.
Hugo was watching intently, knowing that he will be the one in control once we get home. He has done a great job, happy to get up each morning at 3.45 am to clean and change the dressings on the wound, and it's been a mammoth effort. Don't even think about this operation if you don't have the support of someone to assist with the constant dressing changes etc. the wound goes all the way around, so it is not a one person job!
Surgery Nurse took photos and will send to the surgeon, she seems to think there are a couple of spots that he may not be happy with, and may choose to redo at a later date. Although I'm not keen to undergo this whole process again anytime soon, I guess I can understand why he would want to complete the job properly.. I've decided to leave that decision till about Feb or March 2014, give the body time to recover from the latest ordeal.
I've been up and walking a fair bit this week, went out at 6.30am this morning, and although it still hurts to walk fast, I have no problem with walking far. I've missed it. Exercise is such a great way to increase the endorphin levels, and not being able to walk after such a long period of constant exercise, has been hard for me mentally. I understand I have to give my body the best chance to heal, but I feel like I have cabin fever.. Very restless and looking for a way out.
As if by magic, my friend Priscilla, sent a text inviting me to the Italian Restaurant last night for a catch up with the girls... It was great, glass of wine, a few laughs with the girls, and a gentle reminder that I need to do this more often.
Being forced into almost complete inactivity of late has given me plenty of time to think, to plan and to mull over some life choices. The world as it stands now, is completely different than even two years ago, personally, professionally, financially. And I don't really think I could be happier.
Years ago, I did away with the word "should", and I'm going to continue in that same vein. I will only do things that I want to do now, never anything that I feel I should. And the effects of that decision still flow today. Instantly I felt less stressed, less concerned about what people think, and more focused on what makes us happier as a family unit.
I am a very firm believer in making a list, and finding a way to achieve all on that list. Years ago, as a struggling single Mum with 5 kids, I wanted to end the year with no bills, and 5k in the bank. I did it.
The next year, I decided on a job that would earn me 80k, got that, so it went to 120k, 150k, 150k with a car for personal use, a phone, a laptop, great super, housing allowance. Got that too. Don't get me wrong, I worked damn hard to achieve all of that, but it was as simple to me as writing a list and working to get it. It was about keeping my eyes and ears open, pouncing on the opportunities when they arose.
A few months ago, I realised that, all the money and the perks of the job, weren't cutting it. There was more that I wanted. The kids are old enough now and all have jobs, or after school work, so their need for cash from me was diminishing..and I needed more. I wrote another list. I wanted a work life balance, I wanted to have days off when Hugo did so we can share our time together, I wanted to be have time to get back to community based volunteering, I wanted less stress in my world and more joy. I wanted to wake every day safe in the knowledge that the people I helped each day, appreciated it, and didn't spend most of the day plotting my demise.
I realised when we were wandering about that beautiful architecture in Paris, that there is more to the world, and I wanted it. The peace, the serenity and to have time to cook, to nourish and to nurture my family. I loved the French way of life, of having downtime with the family in the middle of the day and time to enjoy good company and fresh food every evening.
So this week, I've been working on my list.